Jay leaned against the wall, watching as the others danced. He let himself move to the music, only half paying attention to the song as he tried to relax after his stressful day.

     You tell a joke and forget the punchline
    Why you always wastin' my time?
    Hey baby, trust me, you just disgust me
    Your hair's a mess and your make-up's crusty

 "Hey baby." Jeff Hardy sidled up to Jay, a hungry look in his eyes. "Aren't you getting bored here?" he drawled, sucking on the tip of his finger in a way he apparently thought was sexy.

     I don't know too many femme-males
    Who make a habit of biting their toenails
    Wo, every time you call, you drive me up the wall
    Honey, just the sight of you makes my flesh crawl

 Jay looked at the painted young man with disgust. "Get lost, Hardy, if I wanted your ‘services' I'd have slipped your brother a dime or two," he spat.

     I'm sure we'd be happy together
    If only one little thing weren't true
    Oh baby, I yi yi yi yi

 Jeff pouted, his obviously falsely colored lip, which bore a shade a red much resemblant to a whore's, sticking out in a way that made his jaw seem unhinged. "But we could have so much fun together," he whined in high-pitched voice.

     You drink the milk right from the carton
    What are you, in kindergarten?
    You're belchin' everywhere, foulin' up the air
    Then you use my razor to shave your back hair

 Jay had to clamp his hands over his ears to shut out the horrible noise, which reminded him of a cat's yowling, or quite possibly of nails scraping down a chalkboard. "Look," he spat, glaring at the flamboyantly easy figure before him. "I don't like you, I don't want you, I don't want anything to do with you, so leave me alone! I'm sick of you following me around!"

     You don't have an ounce of class
    You're just one big pain in the neck
    How much more can I take now, give me a break now
    You even snore when you're wide awake now

 Jeff smirked, his plucked eyebrows raising. "Oh, you want me baby. You want me bad, I know it." He turned around, thrusting his leopard print-clad bottom at Jay. "You want THIS."

     You tell all your friends we're the perfect couple
    Well, maybe you should get a clue
    'Cause baby, I yi yi yi yi
    Baby, you're so nauseatin'
    I yi yi yi yi

 Jay gritted his teeth, wanting nothing more than to smack Jeff silly. However, considering certain video tapes which the Hardys had filmed and distributed to anyone who would take them, Jay didn't think that would be much of a punishment. "I do not want you," he growled, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Look, you little whore, you've been following me around for months, and I'm fucking sick of it! Get a fucking life and leave me the fuck alone!"

     And when you softly call my name
    It's like I'm listenin' to a squeaky chalk sound
    And when you look at me that special way
    It's hard for me to keep my lunch down

 "Mmm, but you said my favorite word SOOOO many times!" Jeff breathed, wiggling his bottom in Jay's direction. "You don't want me to leave you alone, you want me bad!"

     And when you ask me what I'm thinkin' honey, usually I'm thinkin'
    how I'd really like to tie your head completely up in duct tape
    so I wouldn't have to listen to you asking me those stupid questions
    over and over again

 "I DO NOT!!!!!" Jay screamed at the top of his lungs, so loud that everyone in the room turned and looked at him. When they saw who he was talking to, they all just smiled, many of them looking amused, and relieved it was Jay rather than them.

     Well, that disgusting noise you make when you laugh
    Gives me a throbbing migraine
    (Can't stand you, I just can't stand you)
    Until you came along I never dated anyone
    this low on the food chain
    (Can't stand you, I just can't stand you)

 Jeff laughed, the sound coming out like a sickening gurgle. "God you want me, you just wanna eat me right up, don'cha?" He said, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. Jay felt like he was gong to be sick, a sudden headache coming on.

     You've got inhuman body odor
    You've got the hair of a boxing promoter
    Yeah, your teeth are all yellow, your butt's made of Jell-O
    You wake up in a puddle, droolin' on your pillow

 "Look," he growled, feeling about ready to kill the young trollop who was flaunting himself so shamelessly. "I've been telling you for months to leave me alone. All I want is for you to leave me alone. Now if you can't - "

     I hate the way you crack your knuckles
    I hate your whiny loser girlfriends too
    But mostly I yi yi yi yi

 "If I can't what?" Jeff smirked, making googly eyes at the golden blonde. "Mmm, what're you gonna do, bend me over and fuck me senseless? Come on baby, I'll do you right here." He ran his hands over his ass, looking back over his shoulder with his best approximation of a sultry look.

    Really now, you're aggravatin'
    I yi yi yi yi
    Not to mention irritatin'

 Jay growled low in his throat. He grabbed Jeff by the collar of his pea-green fishnet shirt, making the younger Hardy yelp in surprise. "I'll show you you little twerp," Jay growled, dragging Jeff away forcefully.

     I yi yi yi yi
    Well, now won't you give my best regards to Satan
    I yi yi yi yi

 Jeff grinned smugly, tossing a straggly strand of hair over his shoulder. "Oh I bet you will baby," he said, licking his lips again. "So we're gonna have rough sex? I love rough sex!" Jay shot him a poison glance, dragging him out to the back of the club.

    You make me sick

 Jeff squealed as he was hurled into a dumpster face first. He sputtered as he came up, covered in garbage and filth. "Ew, I don't wanna do it in here!" he whined, tears brimming his eyes. He looked around, distressed to see that Jay had disappeared. "Jaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!" he cried, his voice high enough to make any normal human being wince. His pouty lip once again extended, and he slapped the rubbish around him, bursting into tears and sobbing like some kind of sick, caterwauling street cat.


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