Steve Austin looked up into Kurt Angle's appalled face, lowering his beer in confusion. "What baby?"
Kurt glared at him, looking more than a little upset. "Are you drinking beer in bed? With me?"
Steve groaned and rolled his eyes, taking another drink of beer. "No, jackass. It's soda."
Kurt's eyes narrowed. "What did you just call me?"
"Jackass?" Steve repeated.
"That's it." Kurt stood up, pulling on the short white robe which he had carefully placed on the nightstand.
Steve rolled his eyes again. "Whatcha doing now, jackass?"
Kurt looked back at Steve, his blue eyes blazing with fury. "I am not spending another second in the same bed with you! You're disgusting!"
"Enjoy the couch," Steve muttered, moving into the center of the bed and getting comfortable.
Kurt put his hands on his hips, an extremely annoyed expression spreading over his face. "I'm going to go tell Vince just how disgusting you are, and that I refuse to room with you ever again! I'm going to tell him right now!"
"Whatever you want, jackass," Steve replied, grabbing the remote and flipping on the tv. "See ya later."
The outrage in Kurt's face increased still more. "For your information," he huffed, furious that Steve was ignoring him, "I am an Olympic hero! I am certainly not a jackass!"
"Whatever you say," Steve said, rolling his eyes but not looking at the fuming Olympian.
"You ass! I'm going to tell Vince this second! I don't see why you can't room with your damn wife!" Kurt snapped.
Steve looked up at him, gingerly setting aside his beer. "Now you know Vince don't like to be disturbed this late. Jest sit yer ass down and shut up. The evil beer is out of the bed now, see?" he mocked, rolling his eyes as if he were talking to a silly child.
Kurt frowned, then after a long, overly dramatic sigh, he slid off his robe and climbed back into bed. Steve glanced at him, running his eyes admiringly over Kurt's stomach. "Ya got a nice six pack there, boy," he commented.
Kurt glanced at him, his frown lightening a little bit, but not much. "Thanks," he muttered. He glanced at Steve, who was sitting close enough to them that their thighs were barely touching. "Could you move over, you're making me uncomfortable," he asked crossly.
"Sure." Steve slid a little closer to Kurt, their skin coming into contact across their entire sides.
"Other way!" Kurt snapped. "Next to your beer."
"Sorry." Steve scooted an inch or two away from Kurt, their thighs
still touching. He glanced at Kurt, then at his six pack of beer, deciding
to make a peace offering. "Ya want a beer?"
**Meanwhile, next door**
"I just don't understand, Mr. McMahon," Debra was saying, "He just doesn't talk to me anymore! He doesn't tell me anything!"
"Debra, I completely understand," Vince replied, patting the blonde's hand sympathetically. "That's exactly the same thing my wife did to me."
Debra looked horrified. "You - you don't think Steve'll ask me for a DIVORCE, do you?"
Vince shook his head, looking a little sheepish. "I certainly didn't mean it like that, my dear. I'm sure Steve cares a lot about you."
"He doesn't act like it," Debra sulked. "Vince, don't let him know, but - I think Steve's having an affair!"
"Oh, really." Vince swallowed, looking a bit nervous. He voice sounded a little higher than normal when he spoke again. "Whatever would make you think that?"
"Well," Debra began, a distinct frown on her face, "he's always coming in late, making excuses 'bout where he's been that just don't seem right to me. And there are times when he shows up all tired and sweaty, and I know he doesn't get that way from working out, 'cos I've seen him work out. I'd know if that was it. I keep thinking I smell something on him, like someone's else's perfume! Oh, Mr. McMahon, I just know he's been cheating!"
"Well, um, Debra," Vince said, fidgeting with the neck of his white dress shirt, "I'm sure it's nothing. It's probably just - "
"Wait." Debra held her hand up, her brows drawing together in concentration. "Do you here that?"
Vince listened for a moment, then nodded. "It sounds like two men screaming 'jackass' and 'indian giver' back and forth. Wait - now it's changed to 'did not' and 'did to'. Whoever it is is making an damn racket!" he said with a scowl.
"Mr. McMahon, I think it's coming from next door!" Debra cried. "Ain't that Steve and Kurt's room?"
"Oh. Yes, I believe it is." Vince cleared his throat nervously. "Well I guess I'd better go see what they're fighting about." He stood up and walked toward the door, Debra on his heel. He turned to her, looking more than a little nervous. "Um, don't you think you should stay here?"
"Oh no Mr. McMahon, I'm coming with you!" Debra announced resolutely.
"Ok then." Vince swallowed again, then walked out into the corridor with the tall blonde. He knocked on the door next to theirs, frowning when he heard frantic voices talking quietly within the room and the sound of some scuffling. A moment later, the door opened a crack, Steve sticking his head out.
"Vince!" Steve greeted, faking a broad smile. "Great to see ya! Thanks for stopping by, I'll see ya tomorrow!" he announced, hurriedly trying to close the door.
"Hang on one moment." Vince's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "We heard some arguing."
"We?" Steve noticed Debra for the first time, his face paling a little. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but where he was. "Well, you know us guys," he said quickly. "Just me and that jackass Angle joking around!"
Vince put his hands on his hips. "Could we come in, please?"
"Um..." Steve stuttered, the choice taken out of his hands when Debra impatiently shoved open the door, both she and Vince gawking at the site before them. Steve was standing before them practically naked, the only covering on his body a small t-shirt - Kurt's - which he was holding over his groin. Kurt was in a similar state, lying on the bed - the covers of which were currently piled haphazardly on the floor - with both his hands covering his groin, looking flushed and more than a little embarrassed.
"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!?" Vince demanded, turning fiery eyes on the two embarrassed men.
"We, um, we - " Steve stuttered.
"You bastard!" Debra interrupted, delivering a sharp slap to her husband's face. "I can't believe you're messing around on me with the slimy little jackass! You lying, disgusting, faking, little toad!"
"Nothin' ever happened before tonight Debbie!" Steve cried, his cheeks red with shame. "I swear it!"
"That's right!" Kurt spoke up. "We were just arguing, and it sort of, um, happened."
"Well that's no damn excuse!" Vince roared, glowering furiously at Steve, who was hanging his head in embarrassment. "Steve, how could you let this happen? How could you betray m - " Vince stopped abruptly and swallowed. "How could you betray your wife!"
"Hold on a second!" Kurt frowned, his eyes wide as he looked between Vince and Steve. "You were going to say 'me', weren't you! Y-you mean that you," Kurt stuttered, turning his eyes on Steve, "You've been sleeping with Vince? B-but I've been sleeping with Vince."
"WHAT?" Debra cried, rounding on the owner of the WWF. "You've been sleeping with my husband and that little boy-toy?" she yelled in outrage, motioning to Kurt, who shot her a dirty look.
"Um, look, Debra," Vince began, tugging at the collar of his shirt. "You see, um, well - "
"Don't even try to explain it!" Debra cried. "I can't believe none of you! You're all horrid and I'm getting out of here right now! I'm going to room with Terri!"
"You haven't been exactly faithful yourself," Kurt muttered under his breath.
Debra paled a little. She turned to leave, but Steve caught her arm. "What're ya talking about, jackass?" he asked, looking inquiringly at Kurt.
Kurt smirked. "Have you seen the way Terri and your wife look at each other? Or been too busy being Vince's bitch to notice?"
"You're one to talk!" Steve growled. "You're his bitch too!"
"Well I happen to think he's a very charming man," Kurt replied. "At least I didn't do it for a title!"
"I would've gotten that title anyway!" Steve snarled, not noticing when Debra quietly slipped out of the room.
"Um, I think I'll just leave you two boys to work this out among yourselves," Vince said hastily, quickly exiting the room as well.
Kurt and Steve sat glaring at each other, than Kurt threw his arms up in the air in exasperation. "Well now you've done it! Now neither of us'll have him! Great work, you indian giver!"
"You little jackass!" Steve yelled. "It ain't my fault, things
were just fine 'fore you came along!"
From the next room, Vince sat listening to the two men quarrel. After a few minutes the fight again turned into a stream of shouted 'did not's and 'did to's, after which it quieted down. Only a few soft noises could be heard through the wall, mainly the sound of quiet moans and bedsprings bouncing. Vince sighed and climbed into his own bed. He made a note on his day planner to start searching for a new lover, knowing his current lovers were lost to him now that they had found each other.
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