“Fuck, baby…….we fucking did it!”
John laughed, letting his bag slide to the floor, and hugging him back.
“You’ve been holding that in since the arena, haven’t you?”
“Fuck that” Miz kissed him hungrily, sliding his hands down to graze John’s ass. “Try since the end of the fucking match”
John laughed again.
“Such restraint”
Miz kissed his jaw and neck.
“Only for you, baby”
John smiled, riffling his fingers through Miz’s spiky black hair.
“You were great out there, babe”
“Aw, fuck……you were too, baby. With those fucking dangerous ass legs of yours”
“Yeah?” John smirked. “Must be all those exercises you help me do”
Miz grinned.
“Yeah……you wanna do some right now?” he asked, starting to draw them both back towards the king sized bed.
John went with him, but he shook his head.
“No……I don’t feel like doing any exercises right now. But, you know, what I am just in the mood for?” he added, just as the back of Miz’s legs bumped against the edge of the bed. “Is victory sex”
“Victory sex, huh?’ Miz shook his head. “That’s a new one”
John smirked.
“You’ll get used to it” he put a hand flat on Miz’s chest and pushed him down onto the bed. “Lose the clothes, babe”
“Yeah….” Miz nodded. “Ok”
It wasn’t easy, but he got started on removing his clothes. He wasn’t sure whether it helped or hindered the process, to have John standing at his feet, stripping off his own clothes. Fuck, he wanted to watch…….but that wouldn’t get him any closer to the magnificent body of his partner that was being revealed more and more, as each piece of clothing was discarded to the floor….and that really was the fucking priority right now. Finally he wriggled out of his boxer shorts, throwing them over the top of his head, then he flung his legs apart, angling his hips up, a silent and completely indecent invitation. John shimmied out of his jockeys, then climbed onto the bed, kneeling between his legs.
“You ready, babe?”
Miz was nodding before he’d even finished.
“Fuck, yeah”
John smirked. He brushed the palm of his right hand over Miz’s swollen cock, then took hold of his own cock with it, and guided himself to Miz’s entrance, slowly pushing inside him, to bury the full length of his cock.
“Oooohhhh…….fuck” Miz let his head drop back onto the bed, the feel of John filling him so completely, an exquisite pleasure in and out of itself.
John moaned.
“God, babe……so tight!” he pulled out a little, then thrust back in again. Miz bucked his hips up to meet him, pulling John’s throbbing cock deeper and harder into him. “Oh, God…….so good……so damn good”. With no loss of pace, John took hold of his engorged cock, pumping him in rhythm to his thrusts.
“Oh…….fuck, fuck!” Miz clutched at the duvet with his hands, trying to hold on to something fucking approaching gravity, as his orgasm built, swelled, and finally exploded, liquid fire streaming through his body. He screamed out John’s name, his cock spurting cum, riding out the tail of his orgasm that juddered through him. Right on his heels, John voiced his name in a guttural cry, as he came hard and fast, expelling his load of cum deep inside him. Miz worked John’s twitching cock, by instinct more than anything else, taking smug delight in the glorious look of ecstasy on his partner’s face, that his actions inspired.
Finally though John was spent, and he withdrew his cock, then collapsed onto the mattress beside him.
“Fuck”
John chuckled.
“Yeah”
Miz lifted a weary hand, and stroked John’s dark, sweat dampened hair.
“Just so I know…….do we always have to wait until we win a match before we get to do that?”
“Hmmm” John rolled onto his side, and with energy Miz didn’t know how the fuck he could possess, slung one long leg over his mid-section, straddling him. “Victory doesn’t come only from winning matches”
“Yeah?” Miz smiled up at him. He couldn’t find it in himself to object to having John astride him, he just hoped his partner would give him a moment at least before going for a second round. Fuck, he was exhausted, but how in the hell did you say ‘no’ to something like that? “What other things might count then, huh?”
“Well” John stroked his chest, describing circles on his sweat dampened skin. “Success comes in many different forms, babe” he kissed the spot between Miz’s nipples, flicking his tongue over it. “Why don’t we judge it on a case by case basis?”
“Hmmm” Miz felt a little of his usual energy seeping back into him. He lifted his hands, running them down John’s back and fingering every defined muscle. “I can dig that” he paused, licking his lips. “What about just having had, fucking amazing victory sex? Does that….count?”
John laughed.
“You know I can really see us having some arguments about this in the future”
Miz grinned.
“Yeah, baby….” He pulled John down on top of him, kissing him deeply. “What the fuck do you think make-up sex is for?”
“Ok, it’s been like a couple of fucking weeks already”
“Huh?” John didn’t look up from the copy of Time magazine he was reading.
“It’s been that fucking long since you had your….like, total freak-out on me” Miz helpfully elaborated for him.
“What?” John looked at him in annoyance. “What are you talking about?”
Miz rolled his eyes, his limited capacity for patience wearing out.
“The hotel room…..the fucking Bible. Hello? Any of this ringing a bell?”
Much of the colour drained from John’s face.
“Oh” he looked away. “It’s never taken you this long to….investigate before”
“Yeah, well…..I’ve never seen you so fucking freaked before. Embarrassed, mortified, humiliated, yes….but none of those make you get that fucking look in your eyes”
“What look?” John demanded.
“That fucking……deer frozen in fear about to be hit by a speeding train, look”
John nodded.
“Nice…..thanks” his voice sounded tight, like he was pissed, but also fragile, like there were other emotions swimming just below his anger.
“Baby, I-“ he began, but John interrupted him. “It’s because of where we are, isn’t it? You’ve got me trapped here for another two hours! There’s no damn way out!”
‘Only down, Miz thought, for a very, very, very fucking long way down into shark infested waters’. He couldn’t help but wonder whether John would prefer that option, judging by his reaction.
“Baby….that’s not fair” Miz placed a soothing hand on his partner’s knee, and though John glanced down it, he didn’t move away. “You know how much I love you. Isn’t it reasonable that I’d want to know what’s upsetting you so much? I mean, maybe I can help”
John shook his head.
“I’m sorry, Miz…..of course I know how much you care about me, believe me. But, it’s……I’ve never told anyone, I……” he trailed off, blinking rapidly as though fighting back tears.
“Baby” Miz wanted to embrace him, but sitting in the type of seats they were, made that impossible, so instead he settled for taking John’s left hand in his own. “You know I never told anyone about……about me and Adam. I was to afraid they would judge or reject me. Then for some fucked up reason, I told you…..the person I was most afraid, no….fucking terrified of losing……cause, somehow, I knew it would be ok. We’ve been together now for half of a whole fucking year, baby. You didn’t go anywhere, you didn’t leave me…..you fucking held me, and made me feel like you’d never fucking let go” Miz paused, taking in a shaky breath. “All I fucking want is to do the same for you. Let me, John…..just let me”
John closed his eyes. He’d lost his fight, and tears traced silent paths down his cheeks. Miz waited, keeping hold of John’s hand and feeling it tremble inside his own. There was nothing else he could say……the rest was up to John.
“I….” John began
“Yes” Miz couldn’t help but encourage him.
John looked at him with a tremulous smile.
“I’ve never heard you say anything……like that before”
Miz shrugged.
“Never needed to, baby. I kind of rely on that whole unspoken thing, we have going on”
John laughed. It was a weak sound, but at least it was there. He brought Miz’s hand to his lips, and kissed his knuckles.
“I love you, babe”
Miz nodded.
“I know, baby. Can you tell me now?”
John drew in a deep breath, then slowly let it out again.
“I don’t even know how to begin” he shook his head. “Why do we never get to have those conversations in private?”
Miz took a look around them, to check on everyone within earshot. One businessman, glued to his laptop, an old couple dozing in their seats, and two Indian guys involved in a heated argument in their own language over some fucking thing or other. He looked back at John.
“I think we’re safe, baby……really. But on the off chance any of it ends up on the Net, I’ll make sure I get someone to kick my ass for you, ok?”
John nodded, managing a true smile.
“Ok” he took another deep breath. “Well…I already told you, when I left home, and that I…….I never told anyone, from my family, that I was….I was gay. Thing is, it didn’t seem to make any difference to my father that I’d never come out……never told him the truth. I don’t know…..maybe it was the way I wore my clothes, the way I walked……maybe he just……..he just didn’t like me. Whatever the reason……he used to……to get my two older brothers to……to beat me. He never…..you know……did it himself…..never lowered himself to getting his hands dirty. He just, gave the orders…then he’d, he’d stand back and watch. You know, make sure, they……they did it right” he paused, taking in a hoarse breath. “The thing, with the Bible…….I guess it just, it gets to me, cause….my father is……..he’s a priest…..and you know, how fucking Christians are, about…….people like us. So, that’s the answer to your question, babe”
“Fuck” Miz sank back in his seat. “That’s so fucked up…..that they could” he turned towards John, lifting his free hand and stroking his partner’s cheek, wiping away the tears. “Baby…….that’s like the…..the real reason behind why you left, isn’t it?”
John nodded.
“I felt like I didn’t have a choice. I mean, no kid wants to leave home at that age. I was just…..the beatings were getting worse every time….I didn’t know…..whether the next one…….I just wouldn’t survive it”
Miz moved his hand back to stroke John’s hair, never taking his gaze from his partner’s dark eyes, feeling the pain that was expressed so clearly in their depths.
“Baby….this fucking plane…..I can’t even hold you”
John smiled.
“I know you want to, babe....that means a lot”
“Hmmm” Miz wasn’t so sure, but he supposed John was entitled to his own opinion. “Where was she?”
John’s brow furrowed.
“Who?”
Miz actually felt himself hesitate. The last thing he wanted in the fucking world was to cause John pain, but he had to know, and besides it would be cathartic for his partner, at least he fucking hoped it would be.
“Your mom, baby….I mean, why didn’t she do anything? Protect you?” Miz knew he’d have done anything to protect John. In fact it was fucking lucky neither of his mother-fucking brothers were in front of him right now…..what he would fucking do to them.
John shook his head.
“Don’t judge her, babe……she lived in fear of him every day. There was no one….I mean, who would have believed her? Her word against the word of a priest? She was trapped in that house……we both were”
“You got out” Miz pointed out.
John drew in a sharp breath, as if to stop them, but fresh tears spilled from his eyes.
“Yeah, I did…..and every damn day I feel guilty for leaving her behind in that…..Christ, I knew the hell I’d left her to face, and with me gone…..she would have to take it all, including the blame for letting me escape. I had to do it……….I had to wait until my father and my brothers had left the house. I knew I’d never manage to leave if they were there. God, I left her…..I left her….”
“Baby…..you were just a kid. What the fuck were you supposed to do?”
John shook his head again.
“I know….I was then, but what excuse do I have for the last seven years? I should have gone back for her, Miz…..I should have”
“Then fuck it….that’s what we’ll do”
“What?”
If Miz was honest with himself, he’d just come out and said it without thinking about it, as he was often accused of doing, but now he thought about it, it was making sense to him. It could heal this wound John was obviously suffering from….it was worth a fucking try, at least.
“Your mom’s still alive, right?”
John nodded.
“So far as I know….but, babe, you can’t be……I mean, you don’t know what it’s…..what it’s like there”
Miz squeezed John’s hand tightly in his own.
“Why the fuck do you think I ain’t gonna let you go alone? We’ll go together, baby….as soon as I can sort us some time off…..and organize my gun licence”
John’s eyes widened.
“You’re not serious?”
Miz sat back in his seat.
“Only about the first part. Believe me, baby, you do not want me to have a fucking gun in my hand when I meet these fucking brothers of yours, or your father for that matter”
John took a deep breath, then he laid his head on Miz’s shoulder.
“You don’t know how much it means to me, babe……..to have someone, care about me so much……even if it means they could end up going to jail”
Miz kissed his forehead.
“I’d really rather not end up in jail though, if truth be told……with this body, they’d fucking eat me alive”
John laughed.
“That’s my Miz………my hero with the gutter mouth”
Miz smiled, stroking his free hand through John’s dark hair.
“You know it, baby”
“This is insane”
“One hundred and thirteen”
“What?”
Miz put the brake on for a red light.
“That’s how many times you’ve said ‘this is insane’”
John sighed.
“You’ve been keeping track?”
“Hey, it’s been something to do…..we’ve been travelling for like the last eight fucking hours” The light changed, and Miz drove off again. “What the fuck else am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know, babe……talk to me, maybe”
“Fuck” Miz slid in front of a green car, taking a left at the intersection. “Tried that for the first hour or so…..then we slid into this whole fucking ‘this is insane’ phase. A man can only take so fucking much, baby”
“I get the damn point” John glanced out the window of their rental car, at the drizzling rain. “This is insane, though. One hundred and fourteen………just in case you’re superstitious”
Miz rolled his eyes.
“Yeah….fucking ha” he paused, flicking the switch for the windshield wipers. “Why don’t you tell me which part, specifically?”
John heaved a sigh.
“I don’t know!........all of it” he paused. “You know……when I was growing up here…..there weren’t, you know, people like us. It just wasn’t……accepted”
Miz snorted.
“Fuck….you think it was where I grew up?” He glanced at the Navman, without which they would have been completely fucking lost, to make sure he took the correct next turn-off. “My parents still think the G-word has only one meaning…..otherwise I could have been to some interesting fucking picnics when I was younger”
John burst out laughing.
“You have a sick mind, babe”
Miz shrugged.
“Fucking, duh. But I believe you were trying to explain the insanity thing to me”
“I’m not even sure how”
“Well” Miz took the left the Navman had indicated. “Let’s see…..you grew up in small, totally fucking backward town. Your father was a priest and a sadist, your brothers were a pair of cruel motherfuckers, and your mom…..” John glanced at him, and Miz felt compelled to temper his description. “Was stuck with a fucking bully for a husband. That about sum it up?”
John sighed, picking at the denim of his jeans, something Miz realized he’d never seen his partner do before. It was an untidy habit, and John and untidy didn’t fucking go together.
“I just…….I know you’re here for me, but I don’t…..I mean, none of my family even know I’m, I’m gay…”
Miz nodded.
“Right, and now you’re gonna turn up on their doorstep with your boyfriend” John looked at him with raised eyebrows, in obvious disbelief. “That’s fucking right, baby…..not just a pretty face, you know”
John laid a hand on his thigh.
“Not just a very pretty face either……….I just, I don’t want you to get hurt, babe. I don’t want either of us to get hurt”
Miz took his left hand off the wheel, and clasped John’s hand in his own.
“Baby, I know you’re scared…..that’s only fucking natural…..but if you’re gonna do this, I think you need to do it right. You don’t need to hide from them…….you’re not that scared little fucking kid anymore. You’re strong, tough…..and on top of all of that, you’ve got me. I’m not gonna fucking leave you alone with them…….unless, that’s what you want”
John shook his head.
“Don’t even……I wouldn’t have even made it this far without you…..I…….I need you”
Miz nodded.
“Ok, then. I won’t leave your side”
John looked at him with a half-smile.
“You sure you’re not gonna regret saying that, babe?”
“Baby….when it comes to you, I ain’t never regretted a fucking thing”
Maybe had some missed opportunities, he amended in his own mind, like when they were alone on the plane together, but that could be fixed later…..maybe on the plane ride back.
“Do they know?”
John looked at him in utter disbelief.
“What?......what the hell have we just been going through for the last eight hours?”
Miz rolled his eyes.
“Fuck…..I ain’t talking about the whole gay thing. I mean do they, like….know what you do? What you are?”
John shook his head.
“Shit…..sorry, babe” he stamped his feet on the wooden porch they were standing on, shivering. “I forgot how damn cold it gets in this hellhole”
Miz couldn’t help grinning.
“I am really a fucking bad influence on you, baby” he paused. “You know I’d offer to help get you warm….”
John nodded.
“Yeah……I bet you would” he rocked back and forth on his feet, huddling inside the black jacket he was wearing. “Damn, it’s cold”
“Yeah…..get that. You didn’t, like, answer my fucking question”
“Well, they’ve never asked me for money, I know that much”
“Huh……John, how long has it been since you talked to them?”
John took his hands out of his pockets, rubbing them together for circulation.
“Let’s see, I’m how old now……twenty-eight. Make it about thirteen years, give or take”
“Fucking hell….you mean you haven’t talked to them since you left?”
“What was I supposed so say? Hi, Dad….I hate you” he shook his head. “I wanted to….I mean, I must have picked up the phone a thousand times, wanting to talk to Mom, but…she was never allowed to answer the phone. I knew if I rang, I’d have to deal with him…..and I just couldn’t do that” he paused. “I don’t think they have a damn clue, what I do. Wrestling was never considered a manly sport by my father. Unlike having his two oldest sons beat the shit of their younger brother”
“Are you ready to ring the doorbell now, baby?” Miz asked. “I mean I ain’t fucking checked my watch, but I think it’s been, like….ten minutes we’ve been standing out here”
John actually took a step back from the door.
“What if he answers it?”
“What if he does?”
John slowly shook his head.
“I have not thought this through”
“Fuck it” Miz stepped past him, and pressed the button. “You think too fucking much” he stepped back again, glancing at his partner’s face. “There goes that look again”
John gulped.
“I don’t think I can do this”
“The hell you can’t” Miz, sacrificing his own warmth, took a hand out of his jeans pocket and grabbed hold of John’s left hand in his. “I’m here, ok?” Miz couldn’t help but feel that John would have snatched his hand back, if he’d had the chance, but at that very second, the door opened and a man, looking to be in his late sixties, wearing jeans and a blue check shirt, stood there.
“Yeah….can I help you?”
Miz glanced at his partner, but John appeared frozen…..no fucking help there.
“Um….we’re looking for Jack Morrison”
“You found him” the man responded, then his brown eyes tracked downwards, and he caught sight of the fact that Miz was still holding John’s hand. “What do you want?” he demanded.
Miz, thinking it was up to him, opened his mouth, but John actually beat him to it.
“Dad….it’s me…..John”
Surprise registered briefly in Jack’s eyes, then his face quickly hardened again.
“You’re too late”
“Late…..” John shook his head. “What do you mean?”
“Your mother…..she’s dead. Guess she got tired of waiting for you to come back” he glanced again at their clasped hands. “Though why in the name of the Lord, she wanted to see a….a faggot, is beyond me” he shook his head. “Do yourself a favour……leave town before your brothers find out you’re here. I won’t be able to stop them-“
“You never fucking stopped them!” John burst out, interrupting him, surprising Miz, but not his father, who appeared unmoved “You fucking bastard”
“You done?” he asked, his voice flat. “Is that what you came all this way to say to me?”
John shook his head.
“This had nothing to do with you. I came to see Mom…..she’s the only damn reason I’d drag myself back here, and just so you know, I’m not fucking scared of Tommy and Scott….not anymore”
“Yeah? Is that right? I suppose you think you and this little, faggot friend of yours can stand up to my boys” Jack replied, not making any effort to hide the disgust in his voice. “I suppose he’s the one behind this new potty mouth of yours as well? I’m glad your mother’s dead…….she doesn’t have to be subjected to hearing this……..this filth” he shook his head. “Get off my property, and may God have mercy on your souls, cause if I see you again…..I won’t” and he stepped back, slamming the door in their faces.
Hardly had the door closed, then John tore his hand away from Miz’s, and turning, descended the porch steps, heading back across the lawn to their rental car. Taken aback by the whole fucking experience, Miz followed him.
John made it as far as the passenger’s side door, then he suddenly sagged against it. Miz jogged the last few feet to his side. John turned towards him, half-falling into his waiting arms.
“God….Miz…..I can’t believe….I am too late”
Miz stroked his back, feeling John tremble against him.
“I know, baby. I’m so sorry…..it’s all my fucking fault. I shouldn’t have made you come”
“No” John pulled back a little, managing a tremulous smile even through his tears. “I needed to come, babe…..and I….I couldn’t have done it without you” he took a deep breath. “But now it’s done……I can stop obsessing about my past, and look forward to my future…..our future, babe” he leaned back against Miz, and Miz held him close, content in the knowledge that, in his arms, John found his solace.
Fin.
Shakito.
5/7/08.
Next: M/M Moments: Part Four
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