No Accessories Needed
Rating: PG13
Content: m/m slash, humor
Characters: CM Punk, Elijah Burke
Summery: Lij is amused by Punk's embarrassment
Written 2/12/10 (tech 2/13/10)

“You’re so funny.”

Punk looked across the car at his lover, frowning. “What?”

Elijah shrugged, not taking his eyes off the road. “You were so uncomfortable in that store.”

Punk huffed, glaring at the dashboard. “I didn’t want to go! It’s embarrassing.”

Elijah raised an eyebrow. “Baby, you watch porn constantly, and we have sex like 5 times a day when you’re home. But you’re uncomfortable in a porn store?”

“It’s different!” Punk cleared his throat, his cheeks quickly flushing pink. “At home is private! Plus they have lots of…things at that store.”

“You mean the dildos?” Elijah clarified.

“Yeah, and all that other weird stuff.” Punk shuddered. “I just like straight up dick, I am NOT into that other stuff.”


Punk looked at his lover sharply. “What do you mean by that? I'm not!”

Elijah’s grin was smug. “I know you have a certain accessory that you travel with sometimes.”

“That was just – that – “ Punk paused, swallowing hard. “Ok, so I have one, but it’s not for a freaky reason, it’s just a substitute for when I’m on the road.” He gave Elijah a suspicious look. “You’re not trying to say that our sex life and boring and you want more kink, are you?”

Elijah laughed out loud. “Baby, do you really think I’m bored in bed?”

“No.” Punk was still looking unsettled. “You’re not, right?”

“No.” Elijah grinned. “We are plenty kinky for me.”

“We aren’t kinky! We never do anything kinky!” Punk exclaimed.

“No?” Elijah shot a meaningful glance his way. “So that time that I surprised you by dressing up in leather and we fucked to S&M referencing Judas Priest songs, that wasn’t kinky?”

“No!” Punk shook his head. “I mean, it was playing a little bit, but that was just for fun. I may be freaky in bed, but I’m not kinky!”

“You need to chill, baby.” Elijah reached over, setting his hand on Punk’s thigh. “Sex is sex, it’s there to be enjoyed.”

Punk was quiet, crossing his arms over his chest and frowning.

“Baby?” Elijah clicked his tongue. “Don’t be sulky, baby.”

“I’m not sulking!” Punk looked annoyed, pointedly moving Elijah’s hand off his thigh. “I just didn’t want to go to that store. You left me alone while you were buying whatever it was you didn’t want me to see; it better not be something kinky for Valentine’s Day!”

“Baby, have I ever tried something in the bedroom that you didn’t like?” Elijah prodded gently.

Punk hesitated a moment, then signed in defeat. “No,” he admitted.

“Then trust me,” Elijah urged.

“I do.” Punk leaned over, stealing a brief kiss from Elijah’s lips. “Let’s get home so we can have real sex, and shake off all that weird artificial stuff.”

“K baby.” Elijah sped up a bit as they neared their house. “And don’t worry, I’m not planning anything for Valentines’ Day.”

“I don’t believe you,” Punk murmured to himself as they pulled into their driveway.


Punk & Elijah Fic

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