“You like it?” Punk flicked his lip ring with his tongue, waiting anxiously for his lover’s appraisal.
“I do.” Elijah tapped Punk’s nose with the tip of his finger. “Makes you look really different. I know I said I’d like you to shave, but I actually got used to the beard. Your whole face seems to be a different shape now.”
“So it’s not good?” Punk’s face fell.
“Baby, I said I like it.” Elijah shook his head, taking Punk’s bag in one hand, and his lover’s hand with the other, leading his man inside. “More of you to kiss with less scratching.”
Punk chuckled. He put his arms around Elijah’s neck when they were inside, expecting another kiss, but Elijah stayed a shoulder’s distance away from him.
“That aside,” Elijah stated, looking down, then back up to meet his lover’s eyes, “I’m not entirely happy with you right now.”
“What? Why?” Punk frowned, running a hand over his short hair. “I’m trying to convince them to let me grow it back, baby.”
“It’s not about that.” Elijah sighed and shook his head. “Why do you think it’s always about something physical? I ain’t that shallow, baby.”
“Sorry.” Punk swallowed, his hands settling restlessly on Elijah’s waist. “What is it then?”
“I talked to Alex.” Elijah took a step back, breaking the physical contact between him and his lover. “He said you’ve been asking about me. Asking if there might be anyone at TNA who I’m interested in.”
Punk bit his lip, wincing. “I didn’t mean - ”
“You didn’t mean to give my coworkers the idea that you think I’m cheating?” Elijah interrupted.
“Elijah, I didn’t mean it!” Punk sighed deeply, leaning back against the wall. “I just can’t help thinking about it, with you being surrounded by a whole locker room of gorgeous guys that I barely have contact with!”
“Baby, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m not interested in anybody else!” Elijah insisted.
“I know!” Punk was shaking his head. “I don’t want to be jealous, Lij, I don’t mean to go behind your back. But there are guys there who want you, guys who would go home with you in a second!”
“Guys who I have no interest in!” Elijah was scowling in frustration. “I’ve never cheated in my life, on either side of the equation! Everyone knows I’m with you, and I would never go home with a guy who’d sleep with me anyway! I love you Punk, why can’t you get that through your damn head? I love you, I want to be with you, and I don’t give a damn what you look like! A little hair can’t make me love you and desire you any less! I thought I’d shown you that these last few months!”
“I know, I know!” Punk had to take a deep breath, swallowing hard. “I love you with all my heart, Lij, and we’ve always been so honest with each other, I don’t believe you’d ever cheat on me. I just, I used to think I was a pretty cute guy, although maybe not the best catch in the world. But I don’t feel that way any more. I don’t feel sexy, I don’t feel like you should want me.” He leaned heavily against the wall, letting himself slide down to the floor, pursing his lips to try and stop the tears that were threatening to steal out from his eyes. “It’s not that I think you don’t love me,” he whispered, “I’m just afraid you’re going to change your mind.”
“Baby.” Elijah sat on the floor, putting a hand on Punk’s shoulder.
“And I’m afraid,” Punk continued shakily, his tongue poking his lip ring in agitation, “that if you did stop wanting me, you wouldn’t want to tell me, because of how much it would hurt.”
“Punk.” Elijah shook his head, putting his arm around his partner’s shoulders. “I don’t know what more I can say to you. I wish I’d never brought it up.”
“No, you should’ve been upset. I mean, I would be, if you called your friends in WWE and asked if I was sniffing around anyone.” Punk put his head in his hands. “I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. I’m ruining everything.”
“You haven’t ruined anything.” Elijah pressed a kiss to Punk’s ear, his fingers tracing over the little tattoo above his ear which was visible with his short hair. “It’s been a stressful summer, baby, but I’m still crazy about you.”
Punk shuddered softly, leaning into his lover and burying his face in Elijah’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, one of his arms winding around Elijah’s waist, holding him tight for comfort. “I hate how I’m being, I don’t know how you put up with me.”
“Baby,” Elijah groaned. “I don’t know what more I can do to convince you that you are amazing. I tell you I love you over and over, I tell you how much you turn me on, I show you how much you turn me on.” He tipped his head, rubbing his cheek against Punk’s short cropped hair. “I love you, baby. I’m 32 years old, and you’re the only man I’ve ever wanted to spend my whole life with. You’re my one, baby.” He pulled Punk closer to him, holding his lover against his chest.
“I’m sorry I put you through this,” Punk whispered, trembling slightly in his lover’s arms. “I shouldn’t be so fucking weak.”
“Sometimes things just affect you,” Elijah murmured, his hands running softly up and down Punk’s back. “I wouldn’t want you to hide that from me. I know you’re feeling insecure right now, but you’ve still been honest with me. That means so much, baby.” He paused, holding Punk tight as his lover clung to him. “Is this - ” he hesitated, not sure if he should go on, “is this partly because I’ve been pushing to meet your parents, baby?”
Punk looked up sharply, his expression startled. “I don’t think so.” He swallowed hard, frowning as he thought. “I – I just feel unattractive, and you’re so hot.” He cupped Elijah’s cheek, smiling softly. “You really are gorgeous.”
“I appreciate that, baby.” Elijah leaned in, just grazing Punk’s lips in a little kiss. “Look at those beautiful eyes,” he whispered, gazing deeply into his lover’s eyes. “Even with tears in them, they’re so soulful. I could drown in those beautiful browns.”
Punk smiled softly, taking a deep breath as his body started to calm. “I love you so much,” he murmured. “I don’t know, maybe it is connected to my parents. I wish I could want you to meet them, but I don’t even want to see them. My mom says my dad’s sobered up, but I don’t know if I believe that.” He sighed again, resting his cheek on Elijah’s chest. “Do I have to deal with them?”
Elijah stroked Punk’s back, relieved to feel his lover relaxing in his arms. “I think you’d feel better, baby. It’s hard, carrying around all that anger and resentment from your childhood. But it wasn’t your fault, Punk. Maybe they fucked up, maybe they weren’t the best parents in the world. I’m not saying you have to let them back into your life, but staying angry at them is hurting you.”
Punk shook his head, his eyes wet again. “How are you so insightful when I’ve barely even talked about it?” he whispered.
“Because I’ve given myself over to you,” Elijah replied softly, closing his eyes as he held Punk against him. “I’ve been with you more than 3 years, baby, I can feel with you.”
Punk took a deep breath, rubbing his cheek against Elijah’s chest. “I love you,” he whispered. “I don’t want to, but I’ll deal with it. Only with you though, I’m not talking to a shrink.”
Elijah chuckled softly. “What if you lie on the couch and I play shrink?”
“Sound promising.” Punk raised his head, mustering a grin. “Can we have some sex therapy after our sessions?”
“You know it, baby. It’s the latest treatment.” Elijah shared a laugh with his partner. “Now about the TNA thing?”
“I won’t do it again.” Punk settled back into his lover’s embrace, a smile curving his lips. “I look kinda hot and different without the big beard, right?”
“Absolutely.” Elijah’s fingers toyed with the hem of Punk’s shirt, but didn’t venture further, for the moment. “I’m gonna have to explore you all over again.”
“Mmm, I like the sound of that.” Punk sat up, claiming a sweet kiss from Elijah’s lips. “I would really like to be in your arms for a while,” he whispered, stroking Elijah’s hair, his face remaining just centimeters from Elijah’s.
“Let’s pull up a movie,” Elijah murmured in response, standing and pulling Punk with him. “Remote’s already on the couch.”
“Perfect.” Punk sighed happily as they flopped onto the couch, having made it there without breaking bodily contact. “I love you. Can we wait ‘til tomorrow before you make me deal with stuff?”
“I guess.” Elijah flipped on the tv, opening the on demand menu. “Comedy?”
“Yes please.” Punk tilted his head for a kiss, then settled back against his man’s chest, resting his hands over Elijah’s. “I promise, no more drama today.”
Punk & Elijah Fic