All Stars

A selection of my favorite slash quotes, slashiest of the slash


Wrestlers

"You've never said no to anything" - Austin to HBK, RAW 2/2/04

"Well, I've never technically been *in* Christian" - Edge

"I'm bi a lot of things, but lingual isn't one of them" - HHH

"Shane's not quite the guy I had in mind to smooch with" - HHH
Tell us, Hunter, who was the guy?

"I'd like to offer my services as an anniversary gift" - Benoit to HHH
"You're a machine" - HHH
HHH thinks: Thanks Chris, you'll make a great anniversay gift!

"While my wife might be his manager, after tonight, Kurt Angle's gonna be my bitch!" - HHH
"I love when you talk dirty" - Mick Foley

"This is the guy and his friend, who won the contest, and they're gonna spend the night with me" - Kurt
Wow, how did they apply for this contest?

"It's Kurt Angle, screwing the Undertaker, screwing the Rock, ect, ect, ect" – Foley, SD 11/30/00
Kurt, you slut!

"I am not going to make you my wife" - Foley to Angle

“You come down and take advantage of the weakened Rock. PLEASE, take advantage of the weakened Rock!” – Rock to Hogan, SD 3/7/02
I love it when Rocky begs...

"I was violated! They would never dare take liberties with me like they did if they hadn't been protected!" - Vince

"You are such a big fan of the people's struddle" - Al to Michael Cole

"We've been eating together, sleeping together; we've been partners through and though" - Al about himself and Coach, Heat 9/14/03
Coach seems shocked that Al said this, and quickly shut him up...hehe...hiding something, boys?

"We're not *together*, but he does have nice hair" - Austin about HHH

"Your knees are shaking...your chest's quivering because you're nervous...you're afraid of me...am I gonna lock up with you?...I'll be all over you like a cheap suit...when I start pounding you, you're gonna beg me to stop, and I won't." - Austin to Scotty, SD 8/16/01
I'm not sure whether I should be disturbed or aroused by this...

"I been checkin' you out lately...just wanted to let you know that" - Booker to Michael Cole, SD 12/2/05
We're glad you let us all know, Book!

"I need you, ok?"
"This is where I need you, Orlando"
"Tonight, I've got to have you"
"I need you for longer than 25 1/2 seconds!"
"I suggest you get your kneepads on now, because I need you!"
-JBL, SD 8/25/05
And Orlando glares at JBL bitterly...

“Just saying the name Chris Benoit puts a huge smile on his face and he gets a little twinkle in his eye.” - Nidia about Jaime Noble, from the Sun
That is just cute!

"I have been dominating here in the World Wrestling Federation!" - Shane O'mac
Suuure you have Shane...we believe you!

"If you go back to the WWF, you'll get screwed over, and over, and over again!" - Shane to Rock
And this is a bad thing?

"He's my lover and I need him right now" - Test about Albert

Now, possibly the slashiest scene ever to air:
From SD 11/01/01, segment with Steve Austin: 
Austin: "Champ to champ, I love you! I've had my eye on your for a long time...I love you."
Kurt: "You - you love me?"
Austin: "Yeah. Hey, I got something for you"
(Kurt gets an unsure look on his face and takes a step back)
Austin: "No, hey, lighten up..." (Austin gives Kurt an Austin 3:16 hat...gives Kurt his medals back)
Kurt: "They're my medals!"
Austin: "You know how long it took to fish these out of the Detroit river? I got 'em for you!"
Kurt: (grinning) "Oh my god! Stone Cold.."
Austin: "Did I tell you I love you or what? Put 'em on."...
Kurt: "This is so great! This is the happiest day of my life!.. I look good, huh?"
Austin: "Damn right you do."
(Kurt hugs Austin)
Kurt: "Thank you. I love you too."


Commentators

"I didn't think those two guys could do it. I didn't think they could go for 60 minutes!" - Coach about Rock/HHH
They must have amazing stamina

"Hopefully these two won't be going out together tonight, 'cos no ladies will get any action!" - Coach, Jakked 3/17/01

"Bradshaw hammering on Albert, but Albert said bring it harder!" - JR

"You know one thing about Austin, he's a very kinky son of a gun" - JR, SD 11/8/01
I do not want to know how JR knows this...

"See, he's not afraid to get wood" - JR about Steven Richards

"Billy, a seven time champion, has yet to reach the promised land with Chuck" - JR, RAW 2/18/02

"Boy look at HHH, he's having his way with Shane!" - Lawler
And right there on national tv too!

"Edge is just trying to impress Rob Van Dam -  I mean Rob Zombie." - Lawler, SD 2/7/02
Freudian slip, anyone?

"Rock and Jericho exploded right out here in the middle of the ring" - Michale Cole
And they've got a lot of explaining to do to the cleanup crew!

“His former lo - running buddy, Scotty” - MC, about Albert, SD 4/11/02
Now, really, what would could he have been starting to say here, besides the obvious?

"There's a DX sandwich and the bread is the Big Show" - Michael Cole

“Will these two men get it on in the Royal Rumble match? That’s almost a guarantee!” – Michael Cole, about Rock & Big Show, SD 1/20/00

"The Undertaker and Booker T about to get it on live" - Paul Heyman
But only airing on a special PPV channel

"He nailed Rock from behind!" - Heyman

"Jerry Lynn's sexy. Don't you think Jerry Lynn's sexy?" - Tazz

"We had sex on the beach." - Michael Cole
"Who had sex on the beach?" - Tazz
"We had" - MC, gesturing to himself and Tazz, Heat 3/17/02

"If Shannon Moore manages to top Benoit, Benoit is defeated" - Tazz, SD 7/10/03
This is a gimmick match I would definitely watch!

"I think his nipple just went flying" - Tazz, SD 11/25/05
This quote's not exactly slashy...but I laughed for 5 minutes straight when I heard it!

"I think Pretty Saturn just need some love. Go show him some love, Coach" - Kevin Kelly

"Van Dam gets it up and takes it in the face" - ECW announcer
Oh, the images!

"Scotty 2 Hotty soon took Albert to the mat and gave him a very special Christmas Worm!" - RAW report 12/25/00



Return to Quotes page