A Role to Play
Rating: hard R
Content: m/m slash, language, humor
Characters: MVP, Batista
Summery: Montel reacts badly to a bedroom suggestion from his lover
Note: Mentions of Alexander the Great & his lovers, Hephaistion & Bagoas; mentions of a scene from the movie “Alexander”
Written: 6/22/07

“I will not be a eunuch!”

Batista frowned, squeezing his lover’s hand. “Just one night, baby,” he cooed.

Montel glared at him. “Look, I was cool being Hepha-what’s-his-name, because he’s a warrior and a pretty hot guy, but I ain’t being a eunuch!”

“You don’t have to be a eunuch,” Batista soothed, “just play one.”

Montel threw his hands up in the air. “What am I supposed to do, pretend my balls don’t exist? I like my balls!”

“So do I, baby.” Batista caught his lover’s hand again, stroking the back of it sensually. “It’s a fantasy, baby.”

“I don’t fantasize about being a eunuch!” Montel snapped. “And you sure as hell shouldn’t either!”

“It’s not that I want to pretend you’re a eunuch, baby,” Batista argued, “That would be weird. I want you to be Bagoas, lover of Alexander the Great, and all around sex kitten.”

“I’d rather be Hepha-what’s-his-name,” Montel muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Hephaistion,” Batista corrected. He frowned at his stubborn lover, annoyance plain on his face. “If you won’t be Bagoas, how about Roxane?” he snapped sarcastically.

Now Montel glared at him. “Yeah, and next week I’ll be fucking Princess Leia!” he growled. “I ain’t playing a eunuch, and I ain’t playing a woman!”

“It would be hot!” Batista insisted. “Don’t you remember the scene from the Final Cut where Bagoas gets into bed with Alexander and kisses him?”

Montel grinned. “I was more interested in that flash of Colin Farrell’s cock as he gets into bed. I can’t believe you wouldn’t let me zoom in!”

“It’s a hot scene!” Batista insisted. “We could reenact it, baby! Just imagine; I drop my robe, and climb into bed - ” he rolled his eyes at Montel’s wicked grin, “ – including cock flash.” His voice took on a tone of reverence as he described the scene. “I lie back, and extend my hand to you. You drop your robe, put out the light, and climb in next to me. We kiss, and this time there’s no fade out!” He grinned, his eyes misty with romance.

Montel looked at him sourly. “Yeah, and then we flash to that old guy getting killed! That’s really not supposed to be a romantic scene, Dave!”

“It’s hot!” Dave exclaimed. “Makes me wish I had a hot Persian boy to fuck.”

“Why don’t you chat up Daivari?” Montel muttered. “He’s not a eunuch, but at least he’s from the same region!”

It was Batista’s turn to throw his hands up in the air. “It’s role-play, Tel! You were into it before!”

“Yeah,” Montel retorted, “when I was Hepha-what-“

“Hephaistion!” Batista snapped. “Fine! Forget it, we just won’t have sex!” He stomped into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Montel frowned, rolling his eyes at the door. “Throw a fucking temper tantrum, why don’t cha,” he muttered to himself. “I ain’t being a fucking eunuch!” He crossed his arms, pouting slightly as he griped. “YOU wouldn’t play a eunuch. Why the hell should I?” He sighed, fidgeting a moment before standing and going to the bathroom door. “Dave!” he called, trying the handle and finding it locked. “Let me in, baby.”

There was a moment’s silence, then the lock clicked. He pushed open the door, finding his lover with arms crossed, prepared to fight again. Without uttering a word, he dropped to his knees, swiftly undoing Batista’s belt and exposing his lover’s cock. His lips were around the head before Batista could do more than utter a startled gasp. Montel licked and suck expertly, closing his eyes as his head bobbed. He had found that a blowjob was a great way to end an argument. It was hard for a guy to quarrel when his cock was buried down his lover’s throat.

Montel took his time going down, enjoying the heat of Batista’s cock in his mouth. He reached up to fondle Batista’s balls when he felt his lover getting close, swallowing all Batista had to offer him. Montel grinned as he sat back on his haunches, licking his lips.

Batista returned his smile, offering him a hand up. The Animal kissed him fiercely, biting his lip as they drew apart. “You are so hot,” Batista murmured, a sly grin spreading across his face.

Montel didn’t like the look on his lover’s face. “What’re you smirking at?” he demanded.

Batista released him, shrugging as he headed for the door. “Nothing.” He turned briefly at the door, raising an eyebrow. “I was just thinking of you as Bagoas, that’s all.” He turned and left, leaving his partner glaring after him.

“Dave!” Montel huffed, stomping out after his partner, “Dave, you can’t do that!”



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