Thanksgiving Turkey
Rating: NC17
Content: m/m slash, cussing
Characters: Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Chris Jericho, MVP
Summery: Drama ensues at the Hardy’s Thanksgiving when both brothers invite a boyfriend
Written 11/25 to 12/4/07

“Uh, Jeff.” Matt set down the potato he was peeling, glancing at his brother. “I, uh – I wanted to talk to you about guests this year.”

Jeff sighed, continuing to peel his potato. “He’s coming, Matt. You know we’re back on. He’s flying in this afternoon.”

Matt sighed deeply. He picked up a potato, stabbing at an eye with considerably more violence than necessary. “I figured,” he muttered. “I thought he might’ve hooked up with Orton after the way they were eye fucking each other on RAW.”

“Orton was eye fucking him,” Jeff stated calmly. “We got back together before the show.”

“Right.” Matt jabbed at another eye in the unfortunate potato. “Well that wasn’t actually what I wanted to talk about. I’ve got someone coming this year.”

Jeff dropped his potato, turning to stare at his brother. “Seriously?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yes, seriously!” Matt scowled, slicing out another eye. “Is that so hard to believe?”

Jeff shrugged, picking up his potato and resuming peeling. “I don’t know, Matt. You haven’t brought a guy to Thanksgiving since you were dating Shane in Omega.”

“October’s a bad month for me,” Matt muttered, thinking of his many relationships which had fallen apart in that fateful month.

“Yeah, it’s October’s fault,” Jeff commented, looking a bit guilty at the hurt look his brother shot him. “Sorry. You just don’t have a great track record with guys, Matt. Who is this guy, and why haven’t I heard about him? Please don’t tell me you’re sleeping with a guy you haven’t even dated for long enough to mention.”

Matt plunged his knife through the de-eyed potato, flinging it into the pot with the others. “I don’t have to tell you about every guy I go out with!” He felt bad being so snippy with his brother, but he was upset that Jeff’s on-again, off-again lover was once again intruding upon their Thanksgiving. He had figured it would happen, which was why he had invited his sort-of love interest. There was no way he was spending another Thanksgiving with Jeff and the boyfriend he couldn’t stand. Said boyfriend was always smug about taking Jeff’s attention on what was supposed to be a family holiday, and he inevitably found an excuse to steal Jeff away upstairs for a while, leaving Matt brooding and trying not to think about what was happening in his own house.

Jeff was sullenly silent, concentrating on the potatoes. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, he sighed and spoke. “I’m sorry. If I promise I’ll play nice with whoever he is, will you promise to be decent to Chris this year?”

“I always am!” Matt retorted.

Jeff glared at him. “Last year you mashed a handful of mashed potatoes into his hair!”

“Well we won’t have to worry about that this year,” Matt snapped, not happy to have been reminded of one of his least shining moments.

“Don’t you dare repeat any of your comments about the hair to his face!” Jeff exclaimed. “I just hope you don’t say shit like that about me behind my back!”

Matt hated that his family time was being invaded by this subject, even before the person in question arrived. He had precious little time with his brother now that they were on different rosters. “Sorry,” he said curtly. “What time is Chris arriving?”

“Around 4:00. He had a book signing this morning.” Jeff finished the last potato, plunking it into the pot and putting the lid on.

“My – ah – guest is driving,” Matt revealed. “He said he’d call when he’s getting close.”

“And you’re not gonna tell me who he is?” Jeff was frowning worriedly.

“I’d prefer you see in person.” Matt washed his hands, reaching up to pull the tie out of his hair. “It’s been a long time since I had a guy over for a big day, and I’m kinda nervous about it.” He took a deep breath, hoping Jeff would appreciate that personal revelation.

Jeff smiled, his demeanor changing as he stepped forward and squeezed his brother’s shoulder. “Matt, you are an awesome guy. I’m happy you’ve got someone to bring this year.”

Matt pulled Jeff into a hug, holding him tightly for a moment. “Thank you Jeff.”

Jeff smiled as they drew apart. “I love you, brother. You’ll always be my first hero.”

Matt returned his smile, quickly blinking back the tears in his eyes. “I love you too, little bro.” He grinned, trying to lighten the mood. “Do you love me enough to get the guts out of the turkey for me?”

“I did it last year!” Jeff pouted playfully. “It’s your turn to reach in and grab ‘em.”

“I did it two years in a row before that!” Matt countered.

“Alright.” Jeff reached for the peelers, handing one to Matt. “Last one to peel a yam guts the turkey. Go!”

Matt was pacing nervously. His guest had called to let him know that he was in town, and would be arriving shortly. Matt prayed that he would reach the house before Jeff returned from the airport with Chris so they could have a moment alone. He jumped at the sound of the doorbell, scurrying to answer it.

MVP stood on his doorstep, grinning broadly. “Hey hey hey, the party has arrived!” he announced.

“Hey.” Matt smiled at his guest, picking up MVP’s bag and quickly moving it inside. “Thanks for coming, Tel.”

“Anything for a guy like you.” Montel strutted inside, his gaze sweeping around the house. “Nice little place you got here, Matt. Damn, something smells good! When’s dinner?”

“About an hour and a half.” Matt carried Montel’s bag over to the stairs, hovering there a bit awkwardly. “Um, I’ve really only got one guest bedroom, and Jeff’s staying there. I thought – well, if you want, you could share my room.”

“I like the sound of that.” Montel grinned, his eyes raking over Matt’s body. He sidled up to his one time partner, wrapping his arms around Matt’s waist. “You thinking, tonight…” His voice trailed off into a grin.

Matt blushed, looking down at the floor. “Maybe. Not that I haven’t wanted to, but…well, I’m an old fashioned kinda boy.”

“S’cool.” Montel leaned forward, meeting Matt’s lips in a gentle kiss. Matt leaned into Montel’s warm body, cupping the back of his head as they kissed. He hardly even noticed the click of the door, but the sound of two men entering was unmistakable. A part of him felt vindicated that they had seen; another part, mortified.

MVP pulled back, turning to look at the two men standing by the door, staring at them. “Hey,” he greeted, striding right over to shake their hands, “Montel Vontavious Porter. Nice to see you again, Jeff.” He shook the younger Hardy’s hand, extending his next to the blonde beside Jeff. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Montel.” The blonde tipped his head slightly. “Chris Jericho.” He looked past Montel, nodding coolly to Matt. “Nice to see you, Matt. How’ve you been?”

“Fine,” Matt replied, trying to conceal the hostility in his voice. “And you?”

“Oh, couldn’t be better.” Chris grinned, wrapping an arm around Jeff’s waist. “I’m back in WWE, and back with the love of my life.” He kissed Jeff’s cheek, making the younger man blush.

MVP smiled, looking between Matt and the couple. Matt faked a smile, pulling a binder out of his pocket and looping his hair into a ponytail. “Well, we’ve still got a few more things to do in the kitchen. Jeff and I can finish it up, if you two want to mix the eggnog and fill the cider pot.” He gestured to the dining room, where the drinks were located.

“Sure.” Chris nodded, shrugging out of his jacket and unzipping his boots. “Just let me get a beer first. Tell me you’ve got something Canadian?”

“Jeff bought them this year,” Matt informed him. “I know you weren’t very happy with our selection last year.”

Chris eyed his boyfriend warily. “You bought them? You don’t know anything about beer.”

“I’ve been learning about it,” Jeff insisted. “Shawn and Hunter have been taking me out and educating me on the many types of beer.”

“Really.” Chris shrugged, proceeding to the kitchen with caution. “Well, as long as that’s all they’ve been doing.” He opened the fridge, his eyes lighting up at the selection of beer. “Wow. Nice job, baby.” He snagged a bottle, flipping the top off with the electric guitar shaped bottle opener on his keychain. He took Jeff’s hand and pulled the younger Hardy to him, delivering a kiss to his lips. “You’re always getting better.”

Jeff smiled at the compliment. He gave Chris another quick kiss, then directed him towards the dining room. “We gotta get that eggnog mixed so it has time to chill,” he stated.

Chris held onto his hand, pulling him towards the other room. “Why don’t you and I mix the drinks, and we’ll let Montel try his hand in the kitchen. I bet he’s a wicked chef.”

“Oh, I chop a mean potato!” Montel affirmed.

“All the potatoes are done,” Matt stated, watching as Chris lead Jeff away. He sighed, mustering a small smile as Montel came over to help.

“They are adorable,” Montel stated. “Although I personally wouldn’t show up to Thanksgiving dressed like a rock star, but to each his own.”

“Give him shorts and he’d be fucking Richard Simmons,” Matt muttered under his breath.

“What?” Montel blinked, looking up from his appraisal of the kitchen.

“Nothing.” Matt took a pack of rolls out of the fridge. “Come on, let’s get these ready to go in once the turkey comes out.

“Hey, looks like we’re out of dark meat!” Montel grinned at his dinner companions. “That is some tasty turkey. I better get some more.” He stood, picking up the turkey platter. “Matt, you wanna help me slice?”

“Sure.” Matt followed him into the kitchen, surprised when MVP blocked his way to the beautifully prepared Thanksgiving bird.

Montel wrapped his arms around Matt’s neck, pulling their bodies close. “Baby, you are tense,” he murmured, leaning in to graze Matt’s lips. “Are you always like this at Thanksgiving?”

Matt sighed. He rested his head on MVP’s shoulder, clinging to the other man’s comforting warmth. “It’s harder this year,” he murmured against Montel’s neck. “I really, really thought they broke up last time. I shouldn’t have gotten my fucking hopes up!”

“Why would you want that?” Montel questioned. “He seems to make Jeff pretty happy.”

Matt snorted. He drew his head back, but left his arms around Montel’s waist. “They’ve been back together three fucking days! Of course they’re happy. It’s the fucking honeymoon period. You haven’t seen how fucking miserable that bastard has made my baby brother.”

Montel cocked his head, gazing at Matt for a moment. Then he moved forward, capturing his lips in a soft kiss. Matt closed his eyes, relaxing into the sensuous distraction. He let Montel back him up against the wall, enjoying his soft, warm lips. His hands wandered down the other man’s back, daring to grasp his ass.


Matt jerked back so fast, he clunked the back of his head into the wall. He groaned, turning his head to look at his brother, who was covering his eyes with his hand. “Sorry, I just came in for more cranberry sauce.” Jeff turned, blindly navigating his way to the door. “Bring some when you come back, ok?” He dropped his hand from his eyes once he had left the kitchen, frowning as he trudged back to the dining room. He dropped heavily into his chair, staring at his half full plate with a pout.

“Where’s the sauce?” Chris inquired, licking a forkful of mashed potatoes into his mouth.

“I told them to bring it,” Jeff replied grumpily.

“Why didn’t you bring it?” Chris, who had been the one who really wanted the sauce, demanded.

“Because they were fucking making out!” Jeff scowled, stabbing a piece of turkey on his plate. “I just walked in on my brother getting practically tongue-fucked against the wall!” He threw his fork down, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’ve never even fucking heard Matt talk about this guy outside of work, and now he’s suddenly throwing himself at him!”

Chris sighed, taking Jeff’s hand and kissing the back of it. “He’s trying to get back at you for brining me,” he stated. “You know he’s never given me a fair shot, baby.”

“I don’t understand him!” Jeff kicked a table leg. “I mean, I know you and I have had ups and downs, but he’s so unreasonable! And he just gets worse. He never would explain the mashed potato incident to me.”

“I know!” Chris shook his head. “All I did was make some inane comment, and suddenly I’m getting potato ground into my skull!” He squeezed Jeff’s hand. “You just remember that I’m here for you, baby.”

Jeff took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “Maybe he just wasn’t sure of their relationship, until Montel showed up today. Maybe he was afraid to jinx it. He really doesn’t have a good history with guys.”

“Being in love with two guys who’re totally in love with each other can screw you up,” Chris murmured. “Are he and Edge really friends again?”

“Apparently.” Jeff shrugged. “I don’t talk to the SD guys as much. Last I heard, Edge had moved in with Cena. All the guys on RAW were complaining about it, ‘cos they wanted to get with Cena.”

“John Cena.” Chris smirked. “I did Cena before doing Cena was cool.” He rolled his eyes at the look Jeff shot him. “We were off at the time, baby.”

“Right.” Jeff drummed his fingers on the table. “They better be back here in like - ”

Matt and MVP arrived before he could finish his sentence, Matt carrying a platter of turkey heaping with dark meat, Montel holding a bowl of cranberry sauce.

“Alright, fresh grub!” Chris smiled at Montel as the other man set the cranberries down before him. He helped himself to a big scoop, holding his smile on Montel as MVP settled down across from him. “So, Montel, how did you and Matt get together?”

“Uh.” Montel looked at Matt, shrugging. “Well we got booked to feud over the US title and then win the tag belts together. It just kind of went from there.”

“Really.” Chris looked between Matt and Montel. “So are you officially dating, or just having a good time?” He ignored the elbow Jeff jabbed into his ribs.

Matt scowled at him, but MVP didn’t look fazed. “I took him out a few times,” he supplied.

“Anywhere nice?” Chris pressed.

“There was a great Lebanese place we hit in Philly,” Montel stated.

“Mmm.” Chris reached out with the tip of his tongue to capture a bit of cranberry and mashed potato from his fork, earning himself another elbow from Jeff. “So have you dated much on SD, or is Matt your first?”

Matt was glaring daggers at Chris, but MVP took it well in stride. “I dated a few guys. Had a thing with Kennedy last year, but it was really just a thing.” Montel swirled his fork in his own mashed potatoes, looking curiously at Chris. “What about you? You date any Hollywood boys?”

“Hollywood boys can’t compare to this beauty beside me.” Chris smiled at Jeff, who looked less than happy even with the compliment.

“How’s the cranberry sauce?” Matt interjected.

“Fantabulous.” Chris smacked his lips, licking his fork clean.

“Do you guys think I should build a bigger hill in my dirt bike course?” Jeff questioned. “I had Carlito over the other day, and he said the course was kinda wussy.”

“Jeff!” Matt was glad for the change of subject, especially to a comfortably familiar argument. “You’ll break your damn neck!"

Matt had wanted a distraction, and MVP was certainly providing it. After dinner, they had retired to the living room. Chris had tried to get Jeff to go upstairs with him, but Matt had cut him off at the pass, taking Montel up under the guise of giving him a house tour. He had showed his love interest the two bedrooms, study, bathroom, and multiple closets.

“The bedrooms used to be next to each other,” he explained, pointing out the rooms from the hall, “but I rearranged a few years ago and moved the study into the middle.”

“Really.” MVP looked between the rooms, comprehension clear on his face. “You did it because of Chris, didn’t you?”

“You don’t know me nearly well enough to be so insightful,” Matt muttered.

“Hey, I understand.” Montel held his hands up. “He’s your bro, better he have his privacy.”

“You know Chris has come every fucking year since they got together?” Matt sighed raggedly. “They keep breaking up, but they’re always back together by November! Jeff hasn’t had a decent relationship in years.”

Montel opened his mouth to say something, but thought again. He took Matt’s hand, walking his fingers up Matt’s shoulder. “You say Chris always sneaks up here with Jeff. What do you say we make this your year?” His lips found Matt’s neck, his hot breath puffing against the sensitive skin.

Matt’s heart began to thump in his ears. “No. I can’t…we can’t.”

“The pies aren’t gonna be out for an hour.” Montel’s hands teased across Matt’s back. “Your room’s right there.” Matt licked his lips, incredibly tempted. “If you want to,” Montel whispered in his ear, nipping his lobe as he moved on to pepper Matt’s jaw with kisses.

“Oh Tel.” Matt grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him into a heady kiss. “I fucking want you.”

Montel grinned through their kiss, setting his hands on Matt’s hips and backing him into Matt’s room. He kicked the door closed behind them, eagerly devouring Matt’s sweet lips. They fell onto the bed, stripping off clothes as they made out. Montel let his hands explore downwards once they were naked, taking Matt’s hardening cock in his palm and kissing his way down Matt’s chest. He paused a moment to enjoy the view, then extended his tongue, giving a long lick from the base to the swollen tip. Matt groaned, his hands stroking Montel’s head as MVP took the head in his mouth, bobbing on the tip as he rubbed the base. His mouth was teasing, moving up a moment later to allow him to speak. “You got – protection – baby?” he asked, delivering a lick to the head between every word.

“Yeah – yeah, here.” Matt fumbled with the nightstand drawer, yanking out a pack of condoms. “I think they’re still good.” He squinted at the packaging, drawing a chuckle from MVP as the older man crawled up over his body.

“Looks good to me,” Montel murmured after a quick glance. “Lube?”

“Yeah.” Matt had to go back into the drawer, quickly pulling out a little bottle.

“I’m not gonna need too much prep, baby,” Montel whispered sensually, moving his hips far enough up for Matt to reach them, his legs spread over Matt’s stomach. “I’m so hot for you.”

Matt cursed the lube’s flip top as he struggled to get it open, succeeding after three tries. He reached down, his breath already quick with anticipation as his fingers slid between the curves of Montel’s ass. He stroked the opening with a lubed finger, tentatively teasing it with a fingertip. Montel groaned, spreading his knees further apart on the bed as he crouched over Matt. His breath was hot in Matt’s ear, his own engorged shaft hovering above Matt’s belly. He let out a load groan as Matt slid a finger in, rocking his hips gently against it. A second finger and some quick scissoring to stretch him out, and he was more than ready. He pushed at Matt’s shoulder, the elder Hardy getting the message and withdrawing.

Montel scooted down to waist level again, taking Matt in his mouth as he ripped open a condom. The sheath was over Matt’s erection almost as soon as his mouth was off, and he was crouching over Matt’s abdomen, holding the base of Matt’s cock to guide it inside.

They both let out a breathy sigh as the head slid into Montel’s body. Montel bit his lip, working his hips up and down, taking in a few inches before he really began to bounce. Matt rocked his hips up, his fingers digging into Montel’s thighs. Montel stayed upright for a few moments as he bounced, then leaned over to claim a kiss, slamming his hips down to take Matt deep. Matt cried out, Montel simply gasping at the sensation of being so utterly full. He stayed pressed against Matt’s body, kissing him until the sensation became too strong, then holding tight to Matt’s shoulders and working himself fiercely on Matt’s cock, his mouth open in ecstasy.

Matt’s head was spinning, his thoughts locked on his hips as he thrust himself deep into Montel’s tight passage. He was grasping his lover’s hips, pulling the sweet heat to himself over and over again. Montel was panting, his face now pressed into Matt’s neck. “I’m gonna – baby - ” Montel’s cock was being rubbed between their bodies, adding to the intense stimulation of Matt buried inside him. He gave a long, drawn out groan, his cock twitching and erupting against Matt’s belly as Matt continued to pump inside him. Matt drove wildly into him, gasping and shaking as the sensations drove him into a dazzling orgasm. He weakly thrust his hips as he rode out the pleasure, Montel’s body still twitching against him.

Matt shuddered as the burning nodes of pleasure began to settle into a deep contentment. They stayed together, neither moving outside of MVP resting more weight on him, relaxing against his chest. Matt could feel his arms shaking slightly. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily. “Tel. You – mmm.” His attempt to speak was unsuccessful, so he lay still for another moment, breathing deeply.

It was Montel who finally summoned the will to move, wiggling his hips to separate them and disposing of the condom. He lay his head back on Matt’s chest, his body shaking slightly as well. “Do we have to have pie?” he whispered, rubbing his cheek against Matt’s smooth pecs.

Matt took a deep breath, letting the air out slowly. “Yeah, we should.” He stalled another moment, then sat up with a sigh. “We have to take a quick shower first.”

“Alright.” Montel sighed in contentment, holding Matt’s hand and not letting go as they rose from the bed, heading to the upstairs bathroom.

Jeff was fidgeting on the couch, alternating between frowning and near scowling. He looked annoyed when Chris sidled up to him, kissing his neck. “I’m not in the mood!” he snapped.

“Come on, Jeff.” Chris continued to kiss his neck, letting his hand trail down to rest on Jeff’s crotch.

“No.” Jeff removed the hand, pushing Chris away from him. He took a deep breath, glancing at the ceiling. “They couldn’t wait, seriously?”

“Just ignore it.” Chris moved in close, sticking his tongue into Jeff’s ear and moving Jeff’s hand to his groin. “Come on Jeff, it’s like a Thanksgiving tradition.”

Jeff scowled, shoving Chris away this time. “Chris, my brother’s upstairs with some guy I practically just met!” he exclaimed. “I mean, he seems fine, but that’s what people always want you to think!” He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “I’m gonna go check on the pies.” He strode into the kitchen, leaving a frustrated Chris frowning after him.

They returned to the table for pie. Matt was much more relaxed as he dished out pieces of pumpkin and pecan, his hand joining with MVP’s under the table as soon as he was done. “Jeff made the pies,” he told Montel and Chris. “I helped with chopping and mixing, but other than that it was all him.

Jeff smiled, although he still looked a bit tense. “Thanks bro.” He raised his wine glass. “Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Happy Thanksgiving!” the others echoed, all clinking glasses. They made light conversation as they slowly consumed the pies, eating rather slowly, as they were all still fairly full from dinner. When they were all finished, Montel volunteered to start on the dishes, Chris offering to help. They both kissed their boyfriends and told them to go relax in the living room, since they had worked so hard cooking the meal. Matt looked happy to be getting some time with Jeff, and that made Montel smile. With Chris’ help, he carried all the dishes into the kitchen, filling up the sink with hot water while Chris scraped the plates.

“So,” Chris handed Montel a plate to wash, standing by with a drying rag, “how was he?”

MVP’s head whipped up. He stared at Chris, the plate forgotten in his hand. “Excuse me?”

“Well you fucked him, didn’t you?” Chris waved the towel impatiently, gesturing to the dish. Montel frowned, dipping the plate into the water to wash, then handing it to Chris to rinse. Chris dried the dish efficiently, placing it in the cupboard, then continuing, “Because of you, Jeff went cold on me. I couldn’t even get a fucking blowjob.”

“Hey, man.” Montel glared at him. “The way I understand it, you been screwin’ Jeff every Thanksgiving. So you ain’t got much room to talk.”

Chris just snorted. “Was that his deal with you? You act as a buffer for the horrible boyfriend, and he’ll screw you?”

“I - ” Montel tried.

“Tell me,” Chris went on, “when did he invite you?”

Montel frowned. “Tuesday.”

“Right.” Chris nodded. “Ever screw him before tonight?”

“No, but - ”

“Well.” Chris impatiently handed MVP another dish.

Montel dropped it in the sink, glaring affrontedly at Chris. “Look man, we didn’t make no fucking deal! We been into each other for a while.”

“He’s got a nice ass, doesn’t he?” Chris motioned to the dish again, which MVP reluctantly washed and handed to him. “Had a lot of use, though. You wouldn’t believe the way he’s hopped between guys.” He raised an eyebrow at Montel’s glare. “Didn’t Matt bother to mention that to you? The whole E&C fiasco?”

Montel was still glaring, but he was also curious. “We ain’t really discuss exes yet,” he stated.

“Exes wouldn’t be the right word.” Chris shook his head. “Edge and Christian were a couple, and Matt had an affair with both of them. Then when they made up, he fucked every friend of theirs in a desperate attempt to get close to them again. He was a total whore for Angle and Rhyno for a while. He was the most willing slut they could’ve wished for.”

“We all do stupid shut.” Montel started washing the glasses, handing them to Chris as each one was finished. “Fucking around a bit when you’re 25 ain’t so bad. I was in prison for a couple years. I was a stupid teenager, got my hands on a friend’s gun and decided to hold some people up.” He shook his head. “Matt don’t care. I knows I ain’t stupid enough to do it again.”

Chris scowled, his argument entirely deflated. “Right,” he huffed. “Well, don’t fucking tell Jeff! I’ll never get any ass tonight if he hears that.”

They finished the dishes in a tense silence, occasionally shooting each other resentful glares.

“You were right.” Montel pulled off his shirt, chucking it onto the floor.

“Hmm?” Matt was watching him undress, having stripping and gotten into bed a moment earlier.

“About Chris.” Montel bent over, pulling off his socks and pants. “He turned into a crazy bitch when we went to do the dishes.” He recounted what Chris had said.

Matt sighed, rubbing his temples. “He thought I bribed you. He of all people should know I’m not a slut.” He shook his head. “Not that I haven’t had my moments. But he knows it firsthand.”

Montel cocked his head curiously as he approached the bed. “Whatcha mean?”

“Nothing.” Matt shrugged, pulling back the covers for Montel.

Montel climbed into bed, gazing thoughtfully at Matt. “Has he hit on you?”

Matt rubbed the bridge of his nose, wincing. “You are way too quick,” he muttered.

“I ain’t the star of SD for no reason.” Montel took Matt’s hand, squeezing it supportively. “Is that why you can’t stand him? He actually hit on his boyfriend’s bro?”

“Yes.” Matt sighed. “The whole E&C thing started just a couple months after we met, and he got the idea that I’d be into that.”

“He never figured out you weren’t?”

Matt shook his head. “Chris is stubborn. Once he decides to do something, he’s damn well gonna do it. He decided he wants to sleep with me, and he won’t quit until he gets me. He’s been hitting on me since 2000, whether he and Jeff were together or not. And every Thanksgiving, if he can get me alone.”

“Ah.” Montel nodded. “So that’s why you invited me. Makes more sense now that he’d think that.”

Matt squeezed his hand, looking at him earnestly. “That’s not why. I could’ve invited some guy every year, but I didn’t. I wanted you to come. Although the thought of a buffer between me and him probably gave me the courage to actually ask you.”

Montel smiled, pressing a light kiss to Matt’s lips. “I’m glad,” he murmured.

Matt shot him a little smile. “So, do you wanna hear about the famous mashed potato incident?”

“Please!” The incident in question had been mentioned several times that night, once by Jeff and a few times by a resentful Chris.

“Alright.” Matt made a face. “So, last year we forgot to buy rolls. I was slicing up the potatoes, and Jeff was pulling the turkey out of the fridge when he noticed the rolls were missing. Chris insisted the meal couldn’t be complete without rolls, so Jeff offered to drive to the 24 hour gas station that has a food section and get some.” He took a deep breath, then continued. “As soon as he was gone, Chris came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. He grabbed my crotch and whispered in my ear that he had some good cream to add to those potatoes.”

“Seriously?” Montel’s eyes were wide. “He’s sure as hell direct. D’ya give him a hint?”

Matt grinned. “I brained him with the nearest spatula. And I told him I’d stick the potato peeler into a certain sensitive area if he didn’t back off.” He cleared his throat. “The incident in question took place a few hours later, at dinner. Chris was licking his potatoes off his fork, like he was tonight, then his eyes locked on me, and he said, ‘They really could’ve used a little cream, Matt.’ I totally lost it. I grabbed a big handful of mashed potatoes and ground them into his scalp.”

“Oh. Really.” MVP was clearly trying hard not to laugh.

Matt waved his hand dismissively. “You can laugh. It was kind of embarrassing, but god was the look on Chris’ face worth it!”

MVP let out a mirthful chuckle. “Matt, baby, you are something else.” He leaned forward to kiss Matt’s lips, lingering in the kiss for a moment. He sighed happily as he drew back, resisting the urge to steal another kiss so he could speak. “I love a man who stands up for himself. But you - ” He paused, licking his lips and attempting to phrase the question delicately, “You didn’t ever tell Jeff?”

“No.” Mat sighed, rubbing his nose again.

“Matt.” Montel squeezed his hand. “You gotta tell him.”

Matt shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t, Tel.”

“You have to.” Montel kissed Matt’s knuckles, holding his hand supportively. “He’s gotta know.”

“No.” Matt wiped at his eyes with his free hand, taking a deep breath. “I can’t, Tel,” he repeated hoarsely, “I can’t bear to break my brother’s heart.”

Montel pulled Matt into his arms before the Hardy could break down in tears. He held Matt tight, Matt clinging to him and taking deep breathes. “Hey, it’s ok,” he murmured, rubbing Matt’s back comfortingly. “I’m sorry, baby. It’s alright.” Matt’s breathing calmed after a moment, but he still clung to Montel. Montel was enjoying stroking Matt’s back, although he was trying hard to keep himself in comforting mode. He didn’t have to resist long, as Matt drew back a bit, moving in to claim his lips. Montel groaned, returning the kiss eagerly as Matt’s arms wound around his neck, the Hardy pulling Montel down on top of him.

Matt was humming happily as he strolled downstairs the next morning, having slipped quietly out of bed with Montel then done a quick shower and primp. It was early yet, and he was planning a surprise pancake breakfast for his guests. He stopped when he reached the living room, seeing a figure curled up on the couch. In a brief moment on vindictiveness, he hoped that Jeff had thrown Chris out. But his instincts told him better, and they were confirmed by the strands of rainbow hair he saw poking out of the blanket as he approached.

“Jeff?” he said softly, reaching out to pull the blanket off his brother’s face.

Jeff stirred, blinking up at him. “Mornin’ Matt,” he muttered groggily, yawning hugely.

“What are you doing down here?” Matt questioned.

Jeff yawned again, glancing at the clock across the room. “What are you? Thought you’d want to sleep in with your boy.”

“I was gonna surprise him with pancakes. And you and Chris,” Matt quickly added. He rocked uncomfortably on his feet. “Did he…are you…are you ok?”

Jeff sighed, sitting up and pulling the blanket around himself. “I’ll live.”

Matt pursed his lips, waiting for Jeff to say more. There was an uncomfortable silence between them, which he finally broke when it became clear that Jeff was not going to continue. “You wanna help me make pancakes?” he ventured.

Jeff slouched back against the couch, pulling the blanket tighter around his body. “It’s ok for you to ask, y’know,” he stated. “You are my brother.”

It was Matt’s turn to sigh. He plopped down on the couch next to Jeff, looking down at his hands. “I thought I’d used up all my objections when it came to Chris,” he murmured.

Jeff chuckled softly. “You’re a good brother, you can earn them back.” He looked at Matt expectantly. “So, are you gonna ask?”

Matt nodded, taking a deep breath. “Alright. What happened?”

“He called me Randy.” Jeff scowled. “That heartless little whore, Randy. I mean, I know he’s probably cheated on me before, but on the night we got back together, for god’s sake?!? And with Randy?” He shook his head, purple and red strands of hair falling over his drawn brow.

“I’m sorry.” Matt’s arm found its way under the blanket, sliding around his brother’s waist in support.

Jeff gazed off into space for a moment. “I don’t think I love him anymore. When we broke up in January, I really, really thought it was over. I think I only got back together with him because of the Hunter thing.”

“What Hunter thing?” Matt demanded instantly.

Jeff shrugged. “Well you know how we were the two survivors at Survivor Series, and then were teaming together. Well - ” he shrugged again. “You know how it goes. One minute you’re chilling, then you’re in bed, then he’s ignoring you and pretending nothing happened.” He rolled his eyes at Matt’s look of outrage. “I ‘preciate that you’d like to kill him, but I shoulda known better. Still felt like shit, though. So when Chris showed up, being all sweet and wanting to be with me…I went along with it. I don’t really want that anymore, though. I’m ready to be done with it.”

“Oh, Jeff.” Matt crushed his brother against his chest in a hug. He held Jeff tight, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Jeff smiled, patting Matt on the back. “I knew you’d be happy. You always had good sense when it came to me, if not yourself.” He pulled back, searching Matt’s face with concern. “What about you? You seemed pretty happy before I came in to rain on your parade. You think Montel’s a good guy?”

“I think he’s a very good guy.” Matt grinned. “He stopped me from assaulting Chris with food this year, didn’t he?”

Jeff chuckled, nodding his head. “That’s true. He seems pretty decent, I’ll give him that. You’ll just have to bring him ‘round more often so I can get to know him. He’s got to know that we Hardys come as a team.”

“Cheers.” Matt bumped fists with Jeff, the brothers exchanging a smile before shuffling into the kitchen to make some pancakes.




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