"Do you realize what you've done?"
"What?"
"You heard me!"
"What?"
"Dammit, stop that!" Vince glared angrily at the man in his bed. "Do you know how humiliating this is Steve? For ME, MR. MCMAHON, to have an STD? I asked you if you were clean, dammit!"
"I thought I was." Austin shrugged. "Musta got it from Flair."
"Flair?" Vince whirled on the bald man. "You've been sleeping with Ric too?"
"Only now and then." Austin shrugged. "The man in a dirty bastard."
"Figures you'd get it from HIM," Vince growled, sighing and plopping down on the couch. "Now thanks to you being a whore, I won't be able to have sex with anyone but you and your infected ass for months!" He sighed again, gazing wistfully into space. "I just know RVD was gonna let me into his pants again soon, too!"
"Whaddaya need that jackass for anyway?" Austin stated, looking very unconcerned. "Ya still got me!"
"You don't understand!" Vince snapped, glaring at his sometime lover. "This is humiliating! For a man in my position to get an STD - this is just ridiculous!" His eyes narrowed. "This had better NEVER get out? You here me?"
"Yeah, yeah." Austin rolled his eyes. "I told ya ta wear a rubber, but no, Mr. McMahon's invincible, he don't need protection!"
"Shut up!" Vince roared. "I would have if you'd told me you were infected! Dammit Steve, I swear, I should never sleep with you again for pulling this shit!"
"Then who's gonna fuck ya these next few months?" Austin replied, smirking at the older man. "Ya know damn well ya can't get enough of me. Ya always come back for more."
"If I could just get RVD to be my whore I wouldn't need you," Vince muttered.
"Well, ya ain't got him, so you'd better treat me right if ya wanna keep laying me," Austin stated.
Vince was still glaring, only now his glare had been shifted to the wall. "I'm going to kill Flair! That bastard. First he sleeps with my whore, then he gives him some disease!"
"Prob'ly happened at the same time," Austin commented.
"Shut up, you!" Vince snapped. "You didn't spread this to anyone else, did you?"
"Dunno." Austin shrugged.
"Well have you slept with anyone else?" Vince demanded tersely.
"Hogan," Austin replied.
"HOGAN?" Vince groaned. "How the hell did that happen?"
"Dunno." Austin shrugged again. "He was drunk, I wanted some, figured why not?"
"God." Vince sighed, resting his forehead against the back of the couch. "How did I wind up with a whore like you?"
Austin grinned. "Cos I'd fuck ya whenever ya wanted."
"I know." Vince sighed again. "Ok. I'm already infected, so there's nothing I can do but wait it out. So, since we can't solve that problem, let's use our time constructively. Now how are we gonna kill Flair?"
"Let's fuck him to death," Austin suggested, a big grin on his face.
Vince just groaned. "How can a man with so much power have so little?" he lamented.
Austin was happy to supply an answer. "Cos you can't control yer dick, that's why."
"Shut up!" Vince yelled. "I can't believe this happened to ME! I really can't!" Hearing Austin only chuckling in response, the chairman of the WWF grabbed a pillow off the couch, pressing his face into it and letting out a loud, frustrated scream.
THE END