Rob Van Damn cleared his throat. His lover, who was standing in front of the mirror combing out his wet hair, glanced back at him. "What?"

 "Aren't you coming to bed?" Rob purred, rolling onto his stomach and fixing his lover, Hugh Morrus, with what he hoped was a seductive look.

 "In a sec," Hugh replied, running the comb through his hair again. "Why are you so eager to go to sleep, anyway?"

 "I wasn't thinking about sleep," Rob breathed, striking a pose he hoped was sexy. " I was thinking about - more exciting things."

 Hugh rolled his eyes. "I swear you virgins think about sex more than anyone else!" he exclaimed.

 "Come on baby," Rob pouted, trying his best to look inviting. "I wanna do it!"

 "We will, in time," Hugh replied, going back to his hair.

 "But I wanna do it NOW," Rob whined, annoyed that his charms didn't seem to be working on the other man.

 Hugh rolled his eyes. "Don't you want it to be all special and meaningful, with a romantic dinner beforehand, a lot of cuddling, foreplay, and lots of scented candles and soft music?" Hugh asked jokingly.

 "That is so cliche," Rob replied. "That's what a girl would want for their first time. I just wanna do it! Everyone is always telling me how incredibly great it is, and I want to find out for myself! Now get in this bed and just give it to me!" Knowing Hugh was watching him in the mirror, Rob reached for his boxers, attempting to yank them off in one clean pull. Unfortunately, the fabric somehow got tangled around his ankle, forcing the impatient man to take a moment to untangle it before throwing the fabric to the ground, the entire procedure less than graceful. Trying to be seductive again, Rob rolled onto his back and spread his legs apart invitingly. "Come on baby, I want you!" he cried.

 Hugh had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. "Now who's being cliche?" he chided. "Really, baby, I don't think you're ready."

 "I am!" Rob insisted. "I've been ready ever since we got together! I've been ready every damn night we've slept in the same bed! I'm ready! JUST DO ME, ALREADY!"

 Slowly, Hugh set down the comb. He turned sharp, clever eyes on his lover, his gaze sweeping over the other man's gorgeous body. "Are you certain?" he growled, his features turning almost predatory. "I can be quite wild in bed, you know."

 "I know!" Rob exclaimed. "That's why I decided to date you in the first place instead of that bimbo Palumbo or that slut Helms. You're fun to hang with, and from reputation the best lay in either fed! Now come to bed and show me!"

 Hugh grinned. "Alright baby, you asked for it!" he exclaimed. He leapt onto the bed, all 280 lbs of him, and quickly pinned Rob's body beneath him, positioning himself between the other man's legs as he reached for a bottle of baby oil. With his other hand he swiftly reached up and flipped off the light, leaving the couple in complete darkness.

 It was relatively quiet for a moment, the only sounds the soft squishing of the oil. Then there was a sharp intake of breath, followed by a rather confused sounding, "Um, Hugh?"

 "Yeah baby?"

 "I thought it would, um, be bigger than that?"

 Hugh laughed softly. "Baby, that's my finger. It IS bigger than that, a lot."

 "Oh. Ok. Um, so when does it go in?"

 "After three of my fingers do."

 "Ok. Um, why? Why can't you just put it in first?"

 Hugh sighed. "Because that would hurt you baby. A lot. I need to stretch you out first."

 "Ok." It was quiet for a moment. "Um, you know this kinda hurts."

 "It's ok, it always does your first time."

 "Oh, ok. Go on then. Hey, why'd you stop?"

 "I want to try something else."

 "Does it go in now?"

 "No. I still need to prepare you for it."

 "But you took your fingers out. What are you gonna use to - oh, shit!"

 Hugh growled in annoyance and pulled back, flipping on the light and glaring down at his would-be lover. He put his hand up to his sore jaw, which had just been on the receiving end of a rather painful bump from Rob's knee, the appendage having jerked up at the first touch of Hugh's tongue to the other man's entrance.

 Rob looked at him sheepishly, clearing his throat. "Um, I'm sorry. You just kinda surprised me."

Hugh sighed, turning away from Rob and pulling the sheet over himself. "It's ok. Just go to sleep."

 Rob frowned, his lip sticking out in a pout. "We're not going to do it?"

 "No," Hugh replied tersely, closing his eyes and trying to go to sleep.

 "Why not?" Rob demanded.

 "Because you're not ready!" Hugh told his gruffly. "Now go to sleep!"

 "Hugh," Rob whined, pressing himself against the other man's back. "Come on baby. I want you, and I want you tonight! I want it bad. Please!"

 "No," Hugh stated.

 "Aw come on!" Rob exclaimed.

 Hugh sighed yet again. "Baby, you don't even know how sex works! Why don't you go on the net tomorrow and do some reading, ok? I can give you some sites."

 "Can't you just do me tonight?" Rob pouted, placing kisses along Hugh's neck. "I really want it!"

 "Nope," Hugh replied, not opening his eyes.

 "Well, you suck!" Rob exclaimed, crossing his arms and pouting furiously. "If you won't do it, then I'll just go find someone who will!" He moved to the edge of the bed, making as if to get up.

 "Do that if you must, baby, but I wouldn't recommend it," Hugh told him, still not opening his eyes. "There are a lot of guys out there who would love to be your first, and not all of them would ask permission."

 Rob froze. "Really?" he asked, looking scared.

 "Mmmhmm. But if you want to take your chances, go ahead," Hugh replied. "Virgins are a rare commodity in the WWF, they never last long. I'm sure Rock or Austin or Taker or Kane would just LOVE to get their hands on a tender, inexperienced virgin like you. But go ahead, if you must."

 "Um, you know I think I'll just stay here," Rob decided, climbing back into bed. He wrapped his arm around Hugh's back, cuddling against the other man. "Hold me please?" he asked meekly. Hugh nodded, turning around and encompassing the other man in his arms. Rob smiled happily, burying his face in the crook of Hugh's neck and taking a long whiff of his freshly washed hair. "Can we do it tomorrow?" he asked after a long silence.

 "Promise not to kick me again?" Hugh asked him, feeling quite happy to have Rob's warm body pressed up against him.

 "Yes," Rob replied sincerely. "I swear!"

 "Good." Hugh sighed happily, pulling the other man tightly against him. "Then you can lose your virginity tomorrow."


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