Kurt threw himself down at the table, glaring down at his plate of food.

 His friends glanced at each other, Jericho speaking up. "What's up twink?" he asked.

 Kurt scowled, glancing up at his friends, Jericho, Jeff, Jason, and Drew. "I hate tops!" he spat. "I just hate them!"

 "Been one of those days, eh?" Jericho replied.

 "Yeah." Kurt continued to scowl, violently stabbing an unfortunate slice of ham off his plate. "I am just sick of tops and their stupid macho, meat-headed crap!" he exclaimed. "I'm telling you, it's days like this that make me wish I was straight! It would be so much easier to just find a women then hunting and hunting and hunting for an even mildly decent top to sleep with! But, unfortunately for twinks like us, women don't have cocks, so they just can't satisfy us in bed! Not that most tops do anyway!"

 "I know what you're saying," Jeff agreed. "They expect to get you into bed after buying you one fucking drink, most of them have never even heard the fucking word 'foreplay', and the second they get off, they're out the door before you can say the word 'cuddle'!"

 "On top of that, most of them don't seem to know that there's actually a spot you're supposed to aim for, rather than just randomly thrusting it wherever!" Jericho joined in, frowning. "They also never seem to understand that, while they pound the hell out of us, we're gonna be fucking sore in the morning! Not that they ever want to stick around and see that! And if by some odd fluke they do stay, and you complain about, they'll never do a bloody thing to help, ever!"

 "And, of course, let's not forget their wonderful obsession with blow jobs!" Drew chimed in. "They're begging and pleading you for it pretty much every second you're together, no matter where you are, or what decency laws it'll violate! When you do eventually give in, they push you down onto your knees and just whip it out, which is about the most unromantic thing in the world! Then they grab your ears and guide you like you're some kind of blow up doll rather than an actual person capable for keeping a rhythm."

 "Rhythm!" they all exclaimed, snorting loudly.

 "Sure wish they had it," Jason muttered. "And let's not forget about the way they constantly gag you, and never even ask you if you want to swallow! Does it never occur to them that swallowing mouthfuls of semen every day is not the most appealing thing in the world?"

 "And why the hell can't they ever repay the favor?" Jericho complained. "Like they don't have mouths too?"

 "We never get flowers," Drew scowled.

 "We never get presents period, must less romantic ones!" Kurt agreed.

 "And they don't seem to think being sore is a good excuse for not doing it," Jeff put in.

 "All they want from us is sex, sex, sex, and blowjobs!" Jericho exclaimed. "They can never, ever think about our needs! When has a top ever asked us how we like to get cock, huh? Never! When has a top ever made sure that it was good for us too? Never! They never seem to know how to give it to us right, not ever!"

 "Makes me wish I was a top," Jeff complained. "It's so easy for them to get their rocks off, and they never make it easy for us! Fuck, half the time I have to slip into the bathroom and bring myself off!"

 "I know!" all the others exclaimed in unison. They all shared a very loud, aggravated sigh, glaring down at the table in front of them.

 "Kurt, you in here?"

 All the frowns were instantly wiped off the twink's faces, replaced by smiled and coyly batted eyes. Kurt giggled as Hunter's strong arms closed about him, grinning up at the tall man. "Hey baby," he greeted.

 "So what're you all talking about?" Hunter asked, glancing around at the smiling twinks.

 "Oh, nothing," Jericho replied instantly. "Just stuff we have in common."

 "Like what?" Hunter questioned.

 Jericho waved his hand dismissively. "Twink stuff. You wouldn't understand."

 "Ah. What, fingernail polish and the best new chick flicks?" Hunter chuckled.

 The twinks all shared a look, giggling. "Something like that," Jericho stated.

 Jason nudged Drew in the ribs, motioning towards the door with his head. "Here come the rest of the boyfriends," he whispers.

 Sure enough, up walked Bradshaw, Adam, Booker, and Glenn, taking their places behind Jeff, Jason, Drew, and Jericho, respectively. All the twink smiled and greeted their men warmly. They shared a few secretive winks as they were all led off in other directions, zipping their lips on that subject for the day.


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