"Hey Test."
"Hey baby." Test grinned, looking down at the man he was currently dating. "What do you think of the new haircut?"
"Uh, yeah." Spike fidgeted. "Listen, I know we were planning on going out tonight - "
"It'll be our fourth date," Test interrupted, raising his eyebrows. "You know the fourth date is the one were a lot of people decide to - you know."
"Yeah." Spike cleared his throat. "I'm afraid I'm kind of busy tonight."
"You're breaking our date?" Test frowned at that.
The small Dudley nodded. "Sorry, but something came up." He took a deep breath. "Actually, Test, I - I don't think we should see each other anymore."
"What?" Test looked floored. "You've got to be kidding me! You're dumping me?"
"I guess." Spike shrugged. "Sorry. I just don't think it's working out. Well, um, I guess I'll see you around." He quickly turned and hurried away, not looking back. He turned a corner and walked down the hall, entering into one of the dressing rooms.
"You do it?" inquired the man inside the room, a large man with long dark braids.
"Yep. I broke it off." Spike smiled, walking over to the couch where Jamal sat and climbing into his lap. "I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner. But he was pretty hot, so I wasn't sure I wanted to give that up. Hot guys don't normally notice a little runt like me. But now with that awful haircut, Test's got the sex appeal of Justin Credible."
"He the one they call Hamster?" Jamal inquired.
Spike nodded his blonde head. "Yep. And people always said Test looked like a rodent anyway, so I guess that makes the analogy even more appropriate."
"Just goes to show that men like him don't have brains in their pretty little heads," Jamal stated, wrapping his strong arms around Spike and drawing the far smaller man against his chest.
"I don't think pretty describes how he looked tonight," Spike replied with a shudder. "Rodent is right! You know he actually tried to tell me people normally do it on the date we were on? As if I'd do it with him now? I may not be the hottest guy in the world, but I sure as heck am not gonna do something that would feel more like bestiality than sex!"
"Well I hope you've learned an important lesson about the content of a package verses the package's pretty wrapping," Jamal told the little Dudley with a chuckle. "His package didn't look so pretty once it was unwrapped, did it?"
Spike giggled. "Actually I never saw it," he replied cheekily.
Jamal rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."
"Yeah." Spike let his head rest against Jamal's shoulder, smiling up at the big man. "How come you're so sweet?" he mused. "No offense, but you don't exactly look like a sweet intelligent guy."
"Implying you do?" Jamal teased.
"I look sweet," Spike pouted. "Tough, but sweet."
"And maybe a little inbred?" Jamal pressed.
Spike crossed his arms over his chest. "It's the glasses, isn't it?"
Jamal chuckled, raising a hand to run it through Spike's pretty blonde hair. "Aw, you know I'm only teasing. I think you look like a sweet, cute young man, and it's plain to see from how you act that you're educated and intelligent. That's what attracted me to you in the first place."
Spike raised an eyebrow. "You were attracted by my intellect?"
Jamal shrugged. "I like to have a boyfriend I can't run intellectual circles around."
"Understandable," Spike agreed with a nod.
"I assume it was my personality that attracted you," Jamal continued with a chuckle. "Unless, of course, it was my stunning beauty and physique?"
"I do think you look nice," Spike murmured, relaxing comfortably against Jamal's bulk. "You're nice looking and would make a great pillow." He smiled up at Jamal, looking a little apologetic. "I'm sorry about Test. I should've broken it off with him as soon as you let me know you were interested in being more than friends. I haven't had such a good time just talking to someone in years."
"Me either." Jamal was about to say something more, but before he could get another word out, the door to the locker room opened, Test stepping inside. He froze when he spotted the two men cuddled up together, his eyes narrowing.
"What the hell is this?" he spat. "One minute you're dumping me, the next you're all over that fat piece of crap. You really are just some locker room whore, aren't you? I heard that about you, but I didn't think it was true, since I wasted my money on three damn dates with you and you never put out."
Jamal growled, moving Spike to sit on the couch beside him and rising to his feet, advancing menacingly towards Test. "You don't talk to him that way," the large man growled.
"And what, you're gonna stop me?" The rodentine man smirked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Don't waste your time on him, baby," Spike exclaimed, seeing Test's eyes flash at the term of endearment. "He's just some sorry loser who thought cutting his gorgeous hair would somehow make him cool. He'll never compare to you."
"No doubt," Jamal agreed, glancing scornfully at Test. He turned to go back to Spike, but Test caught his arm, whirling him around.
"Hey," Test growled, his eyes narrowed. "Maybe I don't appreciate you stealing my slut."
"He's no one's slut!" Jamal hissed, shoving Test hard in the chest. "Why don't you show some god damn respect for him?"
"Why should I?" Test jeered. "He is a slut, everyone knows it! No one respects a slut!"
"Kinda like no one respects a sellout, huh?" Jamal jeered. "Or do you prefer cave in?"
Test's eyes narrowed further, the tall man taking a step towards Jamal. "You're really one to talk, considering you're a fat ass managed by a gay hairdresser, and are most often seen kissing Bischoff's ass! Well congrats fat ass, you got yourself a snooty little cock slut who'll probably be doing half the locker room behind your back!"
In a split second, Jamal's fist was flying forward and connecting with Test's nose, sending the tall man tumbling onto the floor, his hands covering his injured nose, his face contorted in pain. Spike cried out in surprise, staring at the fallen Canadian. He blinked when Jamal scooped up both their bags and walked over to him, offering him one large hand. "You wanna get out of here?"
"Yeah," Spike murmured, taking Jamal's hand, biting his lips as they walked back Test, who was crying and holding his nose. He glanced up at Jamal, a smile spreading across his face. "No one's ever done that for me before. Defended my honor like that."
"I couldn't let him get away with saying that shit about you," Jamal replied, squeezing the small Dudley's hand reassuringly.
"It's not true. Just so you know." Spike sighed. "I slept with one guy in the WWE, and that's it.
Honest." "I believe you." Jamal squeezed the little blonde's hand again, giving him a warm smile. "Can I take you to dinner? I know this really nice place not too far from here."
"I would love that," Spike replied, giving the big man a smile as they walked out into the parking lot, hand in hand.
THE END