Miz twisted his neck to see John’s expression.
“Are you fucking serious?”
“Shit, yeah. It’s perfect” Miz looked back at the computer screen, and the picture of a blue T-shirt with the yellow cartoon figure on it and the caption “I keep my man Mr. Happy”. John’s hands settled on his shoulders, and he kissed the back of Miz’s neck. “You know it’s only the truth, babe”
“I wasn’t denying that” Miz responded adroitly. In truth, he had no idea how he’d ended up on this site. He’d been looking for something else entirely. “Baby, what was the name of that site, again?”
John heaved a sigh.
“Slasher. Com” he took his hands away, and stepping back, wandered over to the table where they’d placed their bags.
“Right” Miz typed in the address and pushed enter. “Victoria reckons they have the best recommendations for horror movies”
“Yay” John responded, the exclamation and his tone of voice having nothing in common. Miz rolled his eyes.
“Well if you don’t want to see horror, we can go action, comedy…..drama”
“Huh, you say that with the same enthusiasm I have about Burger King or McDonalds” John said.
Miz closed the site down.
“Do you wanna go out then?”
“And have to see that little freak again?.....only drunk and coming on to anything with two legs……pass”
“Fuck, baby” Miz shut his laptop and swivelled the chair around to face John, well John’s back at any rate. “What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know….” He finally stopped rummaging around in his gym bag, and turned around, holding a Mudshake in either hand. “Stay in with me?”
“Always” John walked back to him, passing Miz one of the bottles. “Even if you are being a moody bitch”
“Ouch” John went past him, to the bed and sat down on its edge. “Low blow, babe”
Miz swivelled the chair back around the other way, to face John and flicking the cap off his bottle, took a swig.
After a few minutes of silence and Miz giving him the stare, John finally sighed.
“Alright, maybe a little deserved” he thumbed the cap off his bottle, letting it fall to the floor. “Do you think we’ll win at the next PPV?”
“I don’t know, baby” he paused. “Is that what you’re in a funk about?”
“I don’t know…..sort of. It’s not just that though…..”
Miz got up from his chair, walked over to the bed and sat down next to John, sliding an arm around his shoulders, all without even coming close to spilling a drop of his chocolate and vodka.
“Come on….talk to Dr. Miz”
John shook his head.
“Doesn’t it worry you that we could lose the belts?”
“No…..why? Are you only with me for the gold?”
John elbowed him.
“Ass! Of course I’m not”
“Ouch……” Miz gave him a hurt look, which John saw right through. “Easy, babe. Of course I know that’s not the reason why you’re with me, and it ain’t the reason I’m with you….so why the worry?”
John took a swallow of his drink.
“You know if we lose the gold…..management could split us up. It happens”
“They’d be pretty fucking stupid to break us up. We’re the best fucking tag-team in the WWE. No to mention the best looking” he added, hoping to get a positive reaction from John, but none was forthcoming. “Baby, if management does decide to put us back in singles competition, there’s nothing I can do. No wrestler has that power. You either like it or leave….that’s the way it works in this business” he paused. “You don’t want to leave, do you? I mean if that’s the only way we could be together, I’d-“
“Babe, stop” John interrupted, putting a hand on his leg. “It’s okay”
“No, it’s not” Miz got up, and walking over to the table, set his bottle down, then turned back to face him. “Not if us being split up is what’s upsetting you….cause….baby, I can’t fix that. I can’t. These five months have been….like, the best time of my life. I can’t even think of what it would be like to not tag with you, to not be with you every show, every day. I can’t even think…..it’s to hard….it’s to fucking hard, baby”
“Miz” John put his bottle down on the nightstand, and standing up, walked over to Miz, putting his arms around him. “Babe….please stop doing this to yourself. That’s not what this is! I mean, I know you can’t control what happens, neither of us can. That’s really not what this is….it’s more….something else”
Miz pulled back a little to look into John’s eyes.
“I swore to myself I was never…… never going to tell you”
Miz narrowed his eyes.
“Then fucking don’t!” he broke away from John, turning his back on him. “If you’re just going to do it to make me feel better, then fucking don’t, ok? It’s fine”
When John made no response, Miz finally turned around to look at him, and he felt a twinge in his heart to see the tears trailing down the other man’s cheeks. John lowered his eyes.
“I don’t want to have secrets from you, Miz. Not from you……but you, you don’t know how….if I ever…..told you something, that……that stopped you from, from……caring about me. I…..I couldn’t bear it”
“Oh, fuck….baby” Miz closed the distance between them, and linked his arms around John’s waist, holding him close. “Nothing you could ever say…..nothing you could ever do……I’d never fucking stop loving you. I can’t…….you have to know that”
John buried his face into Miz’s shoulder.
“It was Mark”
“What, baby?” John’s voice was barely more than a whisper, and muffled against his shirt.
“It happened about a…..a month before management made us into a tag-team. I was…..rooming with some of the other SD guys. None of them were there…..when it happened, but I guess….I don’t know, one of them gave him a keycard to….to our room. I was in bed already…..I didn’t even him hear come in, then he was…..he was on top of me” John’s voice broke, and Miz felt his body crumple, only his arms around John’s waist prevented him from falling. “I couldn’t fight him…..I tried, Miz. Jesus…..I tried, but I….I couldn’t stop him” Miz opened his mouth, ready to give comfort, reassurance, sympathy, but John wasn’t done, he continued, his voice raw as though each word caused him pain. “I….I lied to you. When I said you were my first…..I lied. He was….that fucking son of a bitch was, and when he tried to…..he would have, Miz. God, if I hadn’t been able to find you….to stop him….I’d have never forgiven myself. I….I knew what he was capable of……I should never have left-“
“No, baby” Miz could almost feel John spiralling downwards into despair. He had to hold on to him. “You can’t fucking blame yourself for ANYTHING that happened. I mean, you fucking saved me….and if that weren’t enough…..you saved me from the same motherfucker that did that to you. You know how fucking brave that was? How much guts that took to do?”
“But if I’d told you…..warned you….something. I was just so…..so scared that if I told you….I’d….I’d lose you. Why would anyone want to be with someone, who couldn’t….who had let something that like happen to them?”
“You’re not the only who came into this relationship damaged, baby” Miz hadn’t intended to say the words out loud, especially not with the harshness in his voice, but for some reason, they got through to John. He looked up, his brown eyes reddened with tears.
Miz shook his head.
“He did enough” he paused, consciously softening his voice. “What matters is that you never judged me about it….and you have to know, I’d never judge you either” he took a hand from John’s back, and stroked his hair. “You know, baby, if I’m really fucking honest….I came into this ‘thing’ with you thinking….wow, John Morrison wants me, fucking me…of all the guys in the locker room, who were falling over themselves for you, you picked me. I mean, I know, management made us a tag-team, but they didn’t force you to be with me. So I was like, man, I get to fuck John Morrison. The guy with the eight pack, the guy with the hottest body on SD….or fucking Raw for that matter, and I thought….it just don’t get fucking better than this. But you know what, I was wrong”
“What do you mean?”
Miz kissed his forehead.
“I mean……sex is one thing, and in all honesty, our sex has to be the best there is, but it doesn’t……I mean, I know you love me, baby, and I love you, more than I ever thought I could love anyone, and that….that, is the fucking best thing”
John kissed him softly, his lips still wet with his own tears.
“I love you”
“I know, baby……I know”
Next: Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word