Kurt seated himself on one side of the makeshift confessional, adjusting the curtain between himself and the person on the other side.
"Forgive me father, for I have sinned," the confessor, Chris Jericho, murmured.
"Go on, my child," Kurt urged. "What were your sins this week?" He settled back to listen as Chris continued.
"I fear I have committed the sin of lust," Chris replied. "Or, felt it anyway. You see, father, there's this guy - this really really really really hot, gorgeous, perfect golden blonde Canadian - and I want him bad. And I mean BAD. I have to wrestle him sometimes, and it's really tough, because wrestling isn't the easiest thing to do when you've got a major hard-on. I get in the ring with him, or I see him backstage, or I bump into him at a club, and it's all I can do to stop myself from jumping his bones, right there in public! What can I do, father?"
"Well, have you considered asking him out?" Kurt suggested.
"No, I can't," Chris replied. "He's in a relationship, and a committed one at that. I think Adam would be really upset it I asked his boyfriend out. But god - um, pardon me father - all I can think about is Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay! I want to touch him, and kiss him, and fuck - um, make love to, I mean - him, I want him so bad!"
"Maybe a cold shower would help?" Kurt squirmed uncomfortably, feeling rather in need of one himself.
"No, that won't help," Chris told him. "I've tried that, I've tried bringing myself off, I've even tried sleeping with other people! All that came of that was Drew getting really pissed at me for calling him Jay. Please tell me what to do, father! I've got it bad!"
"Well - " Kurt thought hard for a moment, lost for an answer. "The only thing I can think of, my child, would be to tell him about it and see what happens, if you really can't get him out of your mind - or pants, as it is."
Chris sighed. "I guess I might as well try that. Hey, you never know! Maybe he'll invite me to join him and Adam one night." Chris chuckled, standing up to leave. "Thanks father. Felt good to get that off my chest."
"Your welcome, my child," Kurt replied. "Oh, and say some prayers to repent for that lust thing, ok?" he called after Chris.
"You got it!" Chris replied. "So will I be like forgiven, then?"
"Yes my child, God will forgive you," Kurt replied in a very priestly sounding voice.
"Thanks!" Chris smiled, turning around and leaving the confessional.
Kurt came out the other side, a grin spreading across his face.
"Damn I love my job," he murmured, licking his lips. The WWF was filled
with hot gossip, and he always got to hear it first. Of course, he couldn't
tell anyone what he heard, but it was worth it. Kurt headed for his locker
room, hoping to get the result Jericho's confession had had on his body
taken care of.