"Janice, I've already told you!" The word came from under a large white towel and two slices of cucumber. "I want every inch of ass off of my face!"
The makeup artist administering 'emergency' facials to the two blonde men sighed, continuing to spread green goop out across the face of the larger man.
"This is so heinous!" Christian whined. "Can you believe that horrible Rikishi? How dare he shove his sticky disgusting butt in our beautiful faces!"
"I know!" Edge growled, his eyes hidden beneath the cucumber slices. "That was so wrong!"
"Quick! Quick!" Both of the tag team champions jumped when a man burst into the makeup room. Edge snatched the cucumbers off his eyes, joining Christian in staring at the tiger-stripe suit clad man. He was a bit shorter than Christian, with chocolate brown hair and gigantic sideburns running along his jaw. The man threw himself into a chair, gesturing desperately at Janice. "I need a facial, NOW! Now, now now!" The makeup artist hesitated, then sighed, leaving Edge and Christian's side to begin to administer the treatment to the newcomer.
Edge and Christian looked at each other, then at the strange looking man. "Excuse me, but who the heck are you?" Edge asked.
The man shot him an annoyed look. "The unfortunate victim of an utterly disgusting Stinkface!" he exclaimed. "Oh, how shall I ever recover? This will ruin my reputation! Ruin it! The fashion world will never take me seriously again!" He sniffled, a distinct pout forming on his lips as Janice applied the green mask to his Stinkface-soiled face.
"You got the Stinkface?" Christian pointed to Edge and himself. "Us too! We were just saying what a heinous reekazoid Rikishi is!"
"He totally is!" Edge examined the man closely, as well as he could see him beneath the cream Janice was applying to his face. "Do you work here?" he questioned.
The man rolled his eyes. "No Edge, I just wanted a Stinkface for fun! Because it's so in style, I just had to have one! But I guess I shouldn't be surprised you two haven't even NOTICED me, I'm not important or anything." He sniffed, frowning at the two of them.
"Uh, ok." Edge glanced at Christian. "What's your name again?"
"Rico!" The man was scowling at them now. "I only manage the tag team champions! Duh!"
"Uh, dude." Edge reached beside him, picking up the tag team belt which he currently possessed. Christian picked up his own belt, showing it to Rico.
Rico eyed them with annoyance. "My god; you haven't been wearing that belt with THOSE outfits, have you?" He shook his head. "Some people are just so hopeless! Really! I manage the *real* champions, Billy and Chuck! You'll never find a better dressed tag team, I promise you that!"
"Look, dude, you are so totally - " Edge stopped as Christian waved him in close.
"Edge, man, I think this dude's from WCW!" Christian whispered into his partner's ear. "Not that I follow that crap or anything, but I think I heard something about a Billy and Chuck over there. Maybe Vince is giving this dude a tryout or something, since he's doing a good job over in WCW? Or - " Christian's eyes lit up. "Do you think Vince is setting up on inter-promotional match? Like, WWF tag champs verses WCW tag champs? Dude! That would so reek of awesomeness!"
"It so would!" Edge grinned, glancing over at Rico. "Although we're totally gonna kick the asses of 'Billy and Chuck', but let's not tell him that! We should so totally try and suck up to him, help Vince out so he'll agree to have his boys face us!"
"Totally!" Christian agreed.
They drew apart, glancing at Rico. "So, uh, dude, you said you're in fashion?" Edge questioned.
"I am." Rico looked proud of himself. "I happen to be one of the premier stylists in the business! Really I'm the best in the world, thus why I look so utterly perfect at the moment."
"Uh, yeah." Edge glanced at Christian, raising an eyebrow. "So, tell us about your boys? Billy and Chuck, right? Are they like total hosebeasts, or like babelicious scorchcakes?"
"Their wardrobe and style were created by me, I think that's all you need to know!" Rico replied. "You should both know quite, quite well that Billy and Chuck are both tall, handsome, blonde, and all around perfect!"
"Sounds nice. Janice, can I take this off now? It's driving me nuts," Edge stated, pointing to the towel which was currently wrapped around his head. Janice shrugged and nodded, and Edge grabbed the edge of the towel and carefully removed it, letting his golden hair falls to cascade freely down his back.
Rico gasped, staring entrance at Edge's hair. "You had highlights done!" he exclaimed, licking his lips as he admired the golden strands. "Edge, I've never seen your hair look so full and lovely! You MUST give me the name of your stylist, I absolutely have to meet him!"
Edge glanced at Christian. "I actually had that done a while ago, but thanks. I'll see if I can find his name and give it to you next time we see you."
"You really must. I have to say, I was beginning to lose faith in you, your hair has been looking so limp lately! And I even heard that you - that you - " Rico shuddered, looking appalled, " - that you were using a TWO IN ONE shampoo/conditioner!" He made a disgusted face. "What a horror that would be! Such lovely hair, such potential, it's just not right for something that could be so perfect to be touched with such a horrid creation!"
"That should be ready to take off now," Janice interjected, gesturing to Edge's facemask.
"And my face will be 100% ass-free after this one?" Edge demanded.
Janice rolled her eyes. "Yes. 100%."
"Awesomeness!" Edge placed the cucumbers under his eyes again, sitting back and letting Janice wipe off his face. He sat up after she was done, flashing Rico and Christian one of his trademark killer smiles. "I feel so totally better now!" he exclaimed as Janice began to remove Christian's mask.
"You certainly look better. I'm glad to see you're finally taking an interest in preserving the beauty of your skin." Rico stated. He frowned a bit, scrunching up his eyes and peering very closely at Edge. "Have you had a lot of facial treatments?" he asked, looking a bit confused. "You look...younger. It's like you've taken off about 2 years!"
"Really?" Edge grinned. "One facial did that?" He paused, frowning. "Dude, do I wanna take off 2 years? I think I'm a little young for that!"
"Oh, it's not a bad thing!" Rico shook his head. "It really is amazing, you look so much better! So fresh and beautiful and, well, all around perfect!"
"Thanks!" Edge beamed proudly, pointing to Christian, whose face was now clean. "What about him? Did it work for him too?"
Rico paused for a moment, examining Christian's face and hair. "It has! I'm shocked, I really am. I never knew facials were that effective!" He smiled at the two blondes, standing and heading for the door. "I think I'll go fetch Billy and Chuck and have them undergo this wonderful treatment, they could each use a few years knocked off. You two, make sure to keep taking care of your hair and skin, it's working wonders for you! I'm so very proud." He smiled at the two blondes, then turned, walking out the door.
Christian turned to look at Edge. "Do you think his boys are here? You think we could meet them and talk about a match?"
"I hope so!" Edge grinned, bouncing with excitement. "This is so cool! Vince is gonna be so proud of us if we can convince them to do a match with us!"
"I know." Christian stood, he and Edge both heading for the door. "Janice, we're gonna go get some magazine to read, then we're gonna come back and wait for Rico to bring Billy and Chuck so we can talk to them!" he told the makeup artist. "If they show up, make sure they don't leave until we come back, ok?" He and Edge hurried out into the hall, heading for their locker room.
Several hours later, two annoyed tag team champions were still waiting in the makeup room. "I think he left," Edge muttered. "Dammit! We should've asked him for his phone number or something, so we could set up a meeting."
Christian shrugged. "It doesn't really matter, Edge. We made a good impression, that's what's important. I'm sure if he's talking to Vince about doing some inter-promotional stuff, we'll see him again. He's so not coming back now, the arena's about to close! We gotta go, dude."
"I guess." Edge sighed, heading out into the hall with Christian. They walked towards the parking lot, but of them stopping and grinning when they spied their boss, one of them, that was, talking with Patterson and Briscoe in the hall.
"Awesomeness! Let's talk to Shane, maybe he can tell us how things went with Rico!" Christian stated, the two of them walking up to the senior McMahon sibling. "Hey Shane!" Christian chirped, putting on his prettiest grin."
"So did you make the deal? Are we gonna fight Billy and Chuck?" Edge pressed.
Shane gave the blondes an odd look. "What? I thought you wanted to fight Rikishi to get revenge for those Stinkfaces?"
"We're talking about the inter-promotional thing with WCW!" Edge explained. "You know, us fighting the WCW tag champs, Billy and Chuck? We talked to their manager Rico earlier tonight."
"You what?" Shane scowled. "You've been talking to WCW?"
"We just happened to bump into Rico; he was getting a facial too," Christian explained. "And we figured since the guy managing the WCW tag champs was here, you must be in negotiations with him! We really wanna fight Billy and Chuck, Shane, we'll so totally win, and it'll be great!"
Shane shook his head. "Guys, I don't know what you're talking about. I've never heard of Rico, and Billy and Chuck aren't the WCW tag champions, Kronik just won the belts - I don't think there even IS a team in WCW called Billy and Chuck. Someone must just be playing a trick on you. Now please, guys, I've got a lot of work to do." With that, Shane walked away, the Stooges following after him.
Edge frowned, a disappointed look settling over his features. "Well this sucks!"
"This reeks of heinosity!" Christian pouted. "What a jerk that Rico guy was! I bet he snuck in here or something and just made up some excuse to get one of Janice's awesome facials!"
"Yeah! He so totally did." Edge shook his head, looping his arm over his partner's shoulder and leading him towards the parking lot. "Let's just forget about him. Weird stuff happens."
"Totally." Christian rested his head on Edge's shoulder, chuckling. "I so can't believe we actually bought what he told us. Billy and Chuck? Dude! That would be like us losing the titles to Too Cool!"
Edge laughed. "Heinosity!"
THE END