*Crowd is shown cheering*
Vince: *speaking into microphone* Hello and welcome to Vinnie! Today's episode is 'Stop My Crazy and Wild Teen'. We've got lots of great guests today, so stay tuned! *crowd cheers* First on our Show is Matt. Come on out, Matt!
*Matt, a dark haired young man wearing a starched white shirt and white socks, walks out and sits down, crowd cheers*
Vince: Hello Matt. I understand you're here to confront your brother Jeff, is that right?
Matt: That's right Vince.
Vince: Could you tell us a little about Jeff?
Matt: Jeff is completely irresponsible! He's always out partying; he drinks, and he smokes, and he strips too. *audience boos* Older guys are always taking advantage of him. He has sex with them and he brags about it.
Vince: And how old is Jeff?
Matt: 15. *audience boos*
Vince: Well, let's bring out Jeff!
*Jeff walks out. He has a mostly shaved head, a bit of scraggly purple hair hanging around his ears. He's wearing baggy black jeans and a black see-through belly shirt. Audience boos loudly*
Jeff: All you people shut up! You don't know me! Shut up! *Jeff sits down, glaring at Matt*
Vince: Jeff, your brother brought you here because he's concerned about the way you act. Is it true that you have sex with older men?
Jeff: Yeah it's true. So what? *audience boos* Shut up!
Vince: Why do you feel the need to act this way at such a young age?
Jeff: I do whatever the hell I want to! Why the hell shouldn't I sleep with other guys? I love sex and I'm not gonna stop doing it!
Matt: You are so horrible! Why can't you ever be responsible!
Jeff: *glaring at Matt* Like you should talk! *turns to Vince* Matt is never even at home, he's always out with his boyfriend. *audience boos* They go out and party, then they come home drunk, and they have sex in the room right next to mine! *Matt squirms in his chair while audience boos* It's true! *Jeff crosses his arms* I got my first lube from his bedroom! He tells me to stop having sex, well I will when he does!
Vince: Let's bring out Matt's boyfriend.
*A tall man with short brown hair comes out. He's wearing a stiff white shirt with a tie, black pants and shoes, and white socks. He walks over to Matt and kisses him passionately while the audience boos, then sits next to Matt*
Vince: And what's your name?
Boyfriend: Steven. Matt is mine, and that little slut *points to Jeff* is just jealous that he can't have me!
Jeff: *smirks* Well that's not what you said the other day when you came by and Matt wasn't home! Who was the one making you scream then?
*Steven pales. Matt jumps up and attacks Jeff, security dragging them apart.*
Matt: You slut! You worthless little slut!
Vince: Steven, would you like to explain?
Steven: *shrugs* Well I came to get some ass. Matt gives me some whenever I want, but he wasn't home, so I figured why not? *audience boos loudly* The only reason I stay with Matt is to get laid anyway. He never says no to me.
Vince: There's someone else here who has something to say to you Steven. Let's welcome Shane! Wait. *Vince flips through his cards* My SON Shane?? What is going on here?
*Shane marches out, promptly attacking Steven.*
Shane: You liar! You said you loved me!
Vince: Shane McMahon, you get out of here right now! You're only 15 for god's sake!
Shane: *sits down, glaring at Vince* You don't know anything Dad! I've been having sex for 2 years!
Vince: *looks about ready to faint* What?!?
Shane: He said he was gonna marry me, that's why I slept with him. *points to Steven*
Matt: Steven, how could you! You said you loved me!
Shane: *glaring at Matt* You're just his slut on the side! You and your brother are nothing more than white trash!
Jeff: Screw you you little bitch! You're the slut!
Shane: You're one to talk! *Shane and Jeff attack each other and start clawing at each other. Security pulls them apart.*
Matt: *whining* Steven, how could you want that little slut?
Steven: *smirking* Get a brain baby! That boy is a gold mine! Look what he bought me in exchange for sex! *Steven shows the crowd an expensive gold watch* You are just an easy piece of ass, and a lousy one at that!
Matt: *gasps in outrage* You liar! I hate you!
Vince: Shane! You paid him to sleep with you?
Shane: *looking sheepish* Well he didn't want to do it otherwise! *audience boos*
Vince: *still looking pale* Um, moving on...let's bring out Justin!
*A funny looking bald man in torn up jeans and a wife beater struts out onto the stage*
Justin: Hey baby. *pulls Matt into his arms and kisses him* I've been having an affair with Matt for months! That pig *points to Steven* was never enough for my man.
Jeff: *looking outraged* Hey! You owe me 20 bucks for that blow job I gave you, slimebag!
Matt: *wrapping his arms around Justin's neck* Go to hell slut, he's mine!
Vince: I think we've gotten a bit off topic here...
All guests: Shut up! *guests all begin to argue*
Matt: I'll forgive you for doing my little brother if you forget about Steven, ok?
Justin: Deal! *the two began rolling around the floor making out while Jeff scowls and kicks them*
Shane: This is so hot! Steven I want you, now!
Steven: *looking pale* Here?!?
Shane: I'll buy you a new jaguar if you do!
Steven: Hell yeah! Come here baby! *pulls Shane into his arms and kisses him.*
Vince: *sitting with his head in his hands* Somebody stop this! Please!
*Suddenly the lights dim. There's a big crash and a flash of light, then three huge men walk onto the stage. Two dark haired men in long black capes stand to either side of a taller man with short brown hair.*
Tall man: I am the Big Show! These are my servants, Kane and the Undertaker. I am claiming all these men as part of my harem! *Kane and Taker grab Matt, Justin, and Jeff*
Show: *pointing to Shane* You, go back to your father! And stop having sex!
Shane: *looking terrified* Yes sir! I will, I swear!
Show: *pointing to Steven* And you! I've got someone here who wants to see you!
*The room darkens briefly and the sound of crows screeching fills the room. Out walks a scowling man with long curly hair*
Steven: *gasps* Raven! I thought you were dead! I'm so sorry I betrayed you baby, I love you!
Raven: *holding Steven protectively* I was stranded on a desert island for years, with only a small local tribe. I've returned for you now baby, and I'll never leave you again. However, I'm afraid that in my lonely hours on that island, I was forced to take two beautiful blonde lovers.
Vince: *flipping through cards while Shane clings to him* Um, please welcome Edge and Christian!
*Two tall, stunning blondes walk onto the stage and stand to either side of Raven*
Edge: *huge smile, showing his perfect teeth* Christian, we're on tv!
Christian: *grinning just as broadly* Yeah, and it's not porn! This reeks of awesomeness!
Raven: *to Steven* They're my slaves. They will pleasure me any time I want. You may share them as long as you're faithful to me.
Christian: *looking Steven over* Cool. What about them? *points to Show and the others*
Raven: *rolls eyes* The island people worship him as their god. He'll be heading back to his sea-side palace, and you'll all be coming with us!
Jeff: This is so great! If I'm in a harem I get to have lots of sex, right?
Matt: You slut! We're being kidnapped and that's all you can think about! Put me down! I only want Justin!
Justin: *pointing to E&C* Do I get to sleep with them?
Show: Of course not! Only me! *puffs out chest*
Justin: *looking outraged* Then put me down! I'm not going! Nooooooo!!! Matt, help!
Vince: *getting angry* All of you get out of here right now! You're ruining my show!
Shane: *crying* I'm sorry Daddy! I'm so sorry! Forgive me! I need you to love me! *wraps himself around Vince's legs*
Vince: Shane, not now! But you are in big trouble young man! Now the rest of you, GET OUT!!
Show: Fine, fine, we're going. I've got a private plane out back. I've got a nice love seat in it; who wants to be first?
Jeff: Me! Me! Pick me!
Justin: Yes, pick him!
Show: *looks over Justin* I think I like you. You're small, and that's funny. You can be first. *takes Justin from Taker and throws him over his shoulder, squeezing his ass*
Justin: *looking appalled* No! Let me go!
Matt: You'd better let my boyfriend go!
Show: He annoys me. Put him in the bathroom. He can stay there until we reach my island, in 6 hours.
Matt: *pales* An airplane bathroom? For 6 hours??? No, god, no! *shrieks and pounds on Taker's back as he's carried off*
Jeff: *scowling* Are you crazy? That ugly cow over me? You suck!
Show: *frowns at Jeff* Just for that, no sex for you for one week.
Jeff: *looks horrified* No, please, no!! You can't do that to me! Pleeeeeeease! *still screaming as Kane carries him away*
Raven: *talking to Steven* Come on baby, let's have an orgy, the four of us. Come on slaves! *walks out with Steven cradled in his arms, gazing at him lovingly*
Edge: Alright, an orgy! Dibs on the new guy!
Christian: You can't call it! I want to pleasure him first!
Edge: I said it first!
Christian: Well you can't have him first if I get there before you! *takes off running*
Edge: Hey! *runs after Christian*
Show: *turns to crowd* Good night everybody! Hope you have a good one, I will. *gives Justin a smack on the ass and walks out*
Shane: *whimpering* Daddy, take me home!
Vince: *looking dazed* Um, and that's our show for today! Good night! Be sure to tune in for tomorrow's episode, 'My sister is sleeping with my boyfriend, his brother, and me'.
*crowd cheers and the picture fades out*