*Crowd is shown cheering*

 Vince: *speaking into microphone* Hello and welcome to Vinnie! Today's episode is 'Stop My Crazy and Wild Teen'. We've got lots of great guests today, so stay tuned! *crowd cheers* First on our Show is Matt. Come on out, Matt!

 *Matt, a dark haired young man wearing a starched white shirt and white socks, walks out and sits down, crowd cheers*

 Vince: Hello Matt. I understand you're here to confront your brother Jeff, is that right?

 Matt: That's right Vince.

 Vince: Could you tell us a little about Jeff?

 Matt: Jeff is completely irresponsible! He's always out partying; he drinks, and he smokes, and he strips too. *audience boos* Older guys are always taking advantage of him. He has sex with them and he brags about it.

 Vince: And how old is Jeff?

 Matt: 15. *audience boos*

 Vince: Well, let's bring out Jeff!

 *Jeff walks out. He has a mostly shaved head, a bit of scraggly purple hair hanging around his ears. He's wearing baggy black jeans and a black see-through belly shirt. Audience boos loudly*

 Jeff: All you people shut up! You don't know me! Shut up! *Jeff sits down, glaring at Matt*

 Vince: Jeff, your brother brought you here because he's concerned about the way you act. Is it true that you have sex with older men?

 Jeff: Yeah it's true. So what? *audience boos* Shut up!

 Vince: Why do you feel the need to act this way at such a young age?

 Jeff: I do whatever the hell I want to! Why the hell shouldn't I sleep with other guys? I love sex and I'm not gonna stop doing it!

 Matt: You are so horrible! Why can't you ever be responsible!

 Jeff: *glaring at Matt* Like you should talk! *turns to Vince* Matt is never even at home, he's always out with his boyfriend. *audience boos* They go out and party, then they come home drunk, and they have sex in the room right next to mine! *Matt squirms in his chair while audience boos* It's true! *Jeff crosses his arms* I got my first lube from his bedroom! He tells me to stop having sex, well I will when he does!

 Vince: Let's bring out Matt's boyfriend.

 *A tall man with short brown hair comes out. He's wearing a stiff white shirt with a tie, black pants and shoes, and white socks. He walks over to Matt and kisses him passionately while the audience boos, then sits next to Matt*

 Vince: And what's your name?

 Boyfriend: Steven. Matt is mine, and that little slut *points to Jeff* is just jealous that he can't have me!

 Jeff: *smirks* Well that's not what you said the other day when you came by and Matt wasn't home! Who was the one making you scream then?

 *Steven pales. Matt jumps up and attacks Jeff, security dragging them apart.*

 Matt: You slut! You worthless little slut!

 Vince: Steven, would you like to explain?

 Steven: *shrugs* Well I came to get some ass. Matt gives me some whenever I want, but he wasn't home, so I figured why not? *audience boos loudly* The only reason I stay with Matt is to get laid anyway. He never says no to me.

 Vince: There's someone else here who has something to say to you Steven. Let's welcome Shane! Wait. *Vince flips through his cards* My SON Shane?? What is going on here?

 *Shane marches out, promptly attacking Steven.*

 Shane: You liar! You said you loved me!

 Vince: Shane McMahon, you get out of here right now! You're only 15 for god's sake!

 Shane: *sits down, glaring at Vince* You don't know anything Dad! I've been having sex for 2 years!

 Vince: *looks about ready to faint* What?!?

 Shane: He said he was gonna marry me, that's why I slept with him. *points to Steven*

 Matt: Steven, how could you! You said you loved me!

 Shane: *glaring at Matt* You're just his slut on the side! You and your brother are nothing more than white trash!

 Jeff: Screw you you little bitch! You're the slut!

 Shane: You're one to talk! *Shane and Jeff attack each other and start clawing at each other. Security pulls them apart.*

 Matt: *whining* Steven, how could you want that little slut?

 Steven: *smirking* Get a brain baby! That boy is a gold mine! Look what he bought me in exchange for sex! *Steven shows the crowd an expensive gold watch* You are just an easy piece of ass, and a lousy one at that!

 Matt: *gasps in outrage* You liar! I hate you!

 Vince: Shane! You paid him to sleep with you?

 Shane: *looking sheepish* Well he didn't want to do it otherwise! *audience boos*

 Vince: *still looking pale* Um, moving on...let's bring out Justin!

 *A funny looking bald man in torn up jeans and a wife beater struts out onto the stage*

 Justin: Hey baby. *pulls Matt into his arms and kisses him* I've been having an affair with Matt for months! That pig *points to Steven* was never enough for my man.

 Jeff: *looking outraged* Hey! You owe me 20 bucks for that blow job I gave you, slimebag!

 Matt: *wrapping his arms around Justin's neck* Go to hell slut, he's mine!

 Vince: I think we've gotten a bit off topic here...

 All guests: Shut up! *guests all begin to argue*

 Matt: I'll forgive you for doing my little brother if you forget about Steven, ok?

 Justin: Deal! *the two began rolling around the floor making out while Jeff scowls and kicks them*

 Shane: This is so hot! Steven I want you, now!

 Steven: *looking pale* Here?!?

 Shane: I'll buy you a new jaguar if you do!

 Steven: Hell yeah! Come here baby! *pulls Shane into his arms and kisses him.*

 Vince: *sitting with his head in his hands* Somebody stop this! Please!

 *Suddenly the lights dim. There's a big crash and a flash of light, then three huge men walk onto the stage. Two dark haired men in long black capes stand to either side of a taller man with short brown hair.*

 Tall man: I am the Big Show! These are my servants, Kane and the Undertaker. I am claiming all these men as part of my harem! *Kane and Taker grab Matt, Justin, and Jeff*

 Show: *pointing to Shane* You, go back to your father! And stop having sex!

 Shane: *looking terrified* Yes sir! I will, I swear!

 Show: *pointing to Steven* And you! I've got someone here who wants to see you!

 *The room darkens briefly and the sound of crows screeching fills the room. Out walks a scowling man with long curly hair*

 Steven: *gasps* Raven! I thought you were dead! I'm so sorry I betrayed you baby, I love you!

 Raven: *holding Steven protectively* I was stranded on a desert island for years, with only a small local tribe. I've returned for you now baby, and I'll never leave you again. However, I'm afraid that in my lonely hours on that island, I was forced to take two beautiful blonde lovers.

 Vince: *flipping through cards while Shane clings to him* Um, please welcome Edge and Christian!

 *Two tall, stunning blondes walk onto the stage and stand to either side of Raven*

 Edge: *huge smile, showing his perfect teeth* Christian, we're on tv!

 Christian: *grinning just as broadly* Yeah, and it's not porn! This reeks of awesomeness!

 Raven: *to Steven* They're my slaves. They will pleasure me any time I want. You may share them as long as you're faithful to me.

 Christian: *looking Steven over* Cool. What about them? *points to Show and the others*

 Raven: *rolls eyes* The island people worship him as their god. He'll be heading back to his sea-side palace, and you'll all be coming with us!

 Jeff: This is so great! If I'm in a harem I get to have lots of sex, right?

 Matt: You slut! We're being kidnapped and that's all you can think about! Put me down! I only want Justin!

 Justin: *pointing to E&C* Do I get to sleep with them?

 Show: Of course not! Only me! *puffs out chest*

 Justin: *looking outraged* Then put me down! I'm not going! Nooooooo!!! Matt, help!

 Vince: *getting angry* All of you get out of here right now! You're ruining my show!

 Shane: *crying* I'm sorry Daddy! I'm so sorry! Forgive me! I need you to love me! *wraps himself around Vince's legs*

 Vince: Shane, not now! But you are in big trouble young man! Now the rest of you, GET OUT!!

 Show: Fine, fine, we're going. I've got a private plane out back. I've got a nice love seat in it; who wants to be first?

 Jeff: Me! Me! Pick me!

 Justin: Yes, pick him!

 Show: *looks over Justin* I think I like you. You're small, and that's funny. You can be first. *takes Justin from Taker and throws him over his shoulder, squeezing his ass*

 Justin: *looking appalled* No! Let me go!

 Matt: You'd better let my boyfriend go!

 Show: He annoys me. Put him in the bathroom. He can stay there until we reach my island, in 6 hours.

 Matt: *pales* An airplane bathroom? For 6 hours??? No, god, no! *shrieks and pounds on Taker's back as he's carried off*

 Jeff: *scowling* Are you crazy? That ugly cow over me? You suck!

 Show: *frowns at Jeff* Just for that, no sex for you for one week.

 Jeff: *looks horrified* No, please, no!! You can't do that to me! Pleeeeeeease! *still screaming as Kane carries him away*

 Raven: *talking to Steven* Come on baby, let's have an orgy, the four of us. Come on slaves! *walks out with Steven cradled in his arms, gazing at him lovingly*

 Edge: Alright, an orgy! Dibs on the new guy!

 Christian: You can't call it! I want to pleasure him first!

 Edge: I said it first!

 Christian: Well you can't have him first if I get there before you! *takes off running*

 Edge: Hey! *runs after Christian*

 Show: *turns to crowd* Good night everybody! Hope you have a good one, I will. *gives Justin a smack on the ass and walks out*

 Shane: *whimpering* Daddy, take me home!

 Vince: *looking dazed* Um, and that's our show for today! Good night! Be sure to tune in for tomorrow's episode, 'My sister is sleeping with my boyfriend, his brother, and me'.

 *crowd cheers and the picture fades out*

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