Jeff "Please?"
Matt "No."
J "Why not?"
M "I'm tired."
J "You are not."
M "Fine, I have a headache."
J "You do not!"
M "Well sorry! I just don't want to, ok?"
J "Why?"
M "Because, that's why!"
J "Well I'm not taking no for an answer!"
M "You have to! Don't you remember what our therapist said?"
J "You expect me to pay attention to that psychological crap he spouts? "
M "Yes!"
J "Fine, what did he say?"
M "He said that you're supposed to show that you respect me by listening when I say no!"
J "But I want it! Come on! You're just saying no to be a jerk."
M "There you go, putting me down again!"
J "Well you are being a jerk! I just want to have sex; is that too much to ask?!?"
M "As much as you ask, yes!"
J "I don't ask that much."
M "You ask at least a dozen times a day!"
J "Well I like sex, ok?"
M "Also something our therapist has talked about."
J "He's just crazy. I'm not a - what he called me."
M "Nymphomaniac?"
J "Yes, that."
M "You are."
J "I'm not!"
M "You are and you know it! You've slept with half the roster!"
J "Yeah, but I stopped when you asked me to be with only you!"
M "Only after I let everyone know how hurt anyone who touched you would get!"
J "Hmph. Well I still say I'm not. You're the problem. You never want to have sex! Why can't you listen to the therapist and think about MY needs?"
M "Your needs?"
J "Yes! I need sex, and lots of it!"
M "I have sex with you every damn day!"
J "Yeah, but only once, or maybe twice if I"m lucky. I need way more than that! I thought we agreed on 5?"
M "You agreed on 5! I said at lest once a day if I feel up to it."
J "But 5 is fair! Didn't our therapist say we should COMPROMISE? I want 10, you want 1 or 2, so 5 is a fair in between number!"
M "But I do not want to have sex 5 times a day!"
J "Again about YOUR wants! It's always about you!"
M "Would you just shut up and go to sleep already!"
J "No! Fuck me!"
M "I told you no!"
J "God you're a bitch! I'm horny, I NEED it!"
M "I promise we'll do it tomorrow, ok?"
J "But I want it tonight! Look, I'm hard and everything!"
M "Well think about something gross, like Big Show naked."
J "No! I don't wanna get not hard, I want your dick up my ass!"
M "Why don't you just give your ass a rest for once?"
J "No."
M "Well, my answer is no too!"
J "Fine. That I'll just get my vibrator and fuck myself!"
M "Suit yourself."
J "And I'm gonna pretend it's something ELSE, not you!"
M "Ooh, that hurts, really."
J "Bitch."
M "Nympho."
J "I'm just gonna pretend you're not here!"
M "Please do."
J "Fine. Then I really will get my vibrator and have fun by myself! It's in my bag over here...here it is...hey, what the heck is this black thing?"
M "Oh fuck! It's another damn mic. Oh god, please please don't let this conversation have been taped! Please no!"
J "What should i do with it?"
M "Throw it out the window!"
J "Cool! Buh bye, mic!"
...a whistling noise, then a loud crash and static...