...a door opening....
Jeff "Wow, what're you wearing?"
Matt "Nothing!"
J "I could tell if it was nothing. Not that I wouldn't like that, but this is definitely something!"
M "Don't look at me!"
J "Why not? You look hot!"
M "Do I really?"
J "Hell yeah!"
M "I feel stupid."
J "Well I really like it. You should dress up more often!"
M "Don't count on it."
J "Why are you dressed like that now, anyway?"
M "A fan sent it to me. She said she saw a picture where I looked like an elf, so I should be able to dress like one."
J "Man I love our fans!"
M "She sent one for you, too."
J "Kick ass! Where?"
M "Here."
...a slight pause...
J "What's up with all the green? And this...bottle of whiskey?"
M "She said in the same picture you looked like a drunken leprechaun."
J "What?!? Ok, which picture?"
M "Right here, in this magazine."
...a slight pause...
J "Well...ok, so I look a little bit out of it, but drunken leprechaun?!?"
M "I guess she was trying to assign a fantastical creature to you."
J "Well hmph! Why couldn't I have been a fairy? She could've sent in wing and a little sparkly skirt."
M "Oh god no. If she had, you'd probably wear it!"
J "Uh huh, sure would! And I'd look way better than you."
M "Well, you're not a fairy, you're a drunken leprechaun, so ha! Now put your costume on."
J "No!"
M "Then I'm taking mine off."
J "Rawr."
M "And putting my regular clothes on!"
J "Drat. Please leave it on?"
M "Put yours on."
J "It's ugly!"
M "Put it on."
J "I don't wanna!"
M "Fine, then I'm changing."
J "No, don't. Fine, I'll put the stupid thing on."
M "Good."
...a slight pause, sound of fabric moving...
J "Hey, it's not that bad!"
M "Actually, it's kinda sexy."
J "Really?"
M "Mmmhmm."
...sound of lock clicking...
J "Oooh, you're locking the door now! Just when do you have in mind?"
M "Why don't I show you? Let's just go sit on the couch."
J "Sounds good to me."
...sound of some kissing and giggling...
M "I've never been with a drunken leprechaun before."
J "I've never been with an elf, either. And I'm not drunken, I haven't had a drink all day."
M "You must be parched!"
J "Shut up! You know I mean alcohol. I had some Mountain Dew and water earlier."
M "Was that good?"
J "Separately! I drank them separately!"
M "Still, I bet you're thirsty, aren't you?"
J "Oh yeah. I'm so very thirsty."
M "I thought so. Hang on, put on your hat first."
J "And you say you're not kinky."
M "So? It'll be sexy."
J "Fine, where is it?"
M "In that box over there, which the costumes came in."
...some fumbling...
J "Got it. Hey, what's this black thing in the box?"
M "Let me see...oh my god! It's a microphone! Someone could've been listening to everything we've been saying!"
J "Shit! What do we do?"
M "Smash it!"
J "How?"
M "I've got a baseball bat in my bag, I'll get it."
J "Why the heck are you carrying a baseball bat around?"
M "For keeping drunken leprechauns in line."
J "Ha ha! Very funny."
M "Ok, you hold it and I'll smash it."
J "No, you'll hit me!"
M "Well, I won't try to."
J "I'll put in on the floor and you smash it."
M "Ok. Stand back, I'm smashing it!"
...a loud crash, than static...