Your eyes are so beautiful. I could drown in your eyes. They're so deep, so lovely. You've always been shy about your eyes. You turn them away when I try to look into them. I think you're afraid that I'll see something I don't like, something that will make me leave you. But nothing could do that, my darling. There is nothing on this earth that could make me leave you. You're my angel, my beauty, my life.

 I know there are things in your past you're not proud of. You were different before you met me. You slept around, you partied, you drank, you did drugs. You hated yourself for doing it, but you saw no reason to stop. I remember the first night I saw you. I had decided to liven up my life a little and go out to a club. Sitting in an office all day, while it paid quite well, was also rather boring. The first thing I saw when I stepped in the door was you. You were dancing wildly, your hips swinging so beautifully beneath your low cut, tiny shorts. I couldn't take my eyes off your long, smooth legs, your tight, perfect ass, or the strip of your flat, perfectly toned stomach revealed by your tight belly shirt. I watched, mesmerized, as you tossed your silky golden mane, laughing joyfully as you moved your body.

 I'll always remember exactly what you looked like in that moment. You were absolutely perfect, an angel walking on earth. I fell in love with you right then and there. Love at first sight. I never believed in it until it happened it me, but after it did, I could never deny it. You became the center of my world, and I wanted you, needed you, more than anything.

 I pushed my way through the crowd around you, shoving aside guys twice my size. I could tell you were quite popular. Everyone wanted to dance with you, but none of them wanted it as badly as I did. I finally reached you, barely able to breath as you surveyed me approvingly and looped your arms around my neck.

 "New here, baby?" you whispered as you ground your body against mine in an incredibly erotic dance. All I could do was nod, my stomach doing flips as you flashed me a devastating smile. I hesitantly raised my arms, daring to wrap them about your angelic form. Just the feeling of your slim waist in my grasp felt like heaven. I let all my inhibitions go, dancing with you as I had never danced before. We danced for hours, whirling around the floor in each other's arms. I think you felt something too, something beyond just the physical attraction between us.

 We ended up at an all night coffee shop, spending the entire night just talking with each other. I could tell from your body language that it wasn't a situation you were overly familiar with. You were accustomed to leaving with some strange man after a night of clubbing, getting fucked in a dark corner or a cheap motel bed, and crawling home, tired and hung over, just as the sun was beginning to rise.

 I know you expected me to want sex. I did, but I didn't want it to be on the first time we'd met, like some casual fling. We shared a cab back to my apartment, and you asked if you could come in. You smiled at me seductively, running your hands over your beautiful hips. I wanted you so bad in that moment, but my love of you made me refuse. My love of you told me that our first time together had to be special, had to be romantic. You looked so shocked when I said no. I gathered it wasn't something you heard often from men. I couldn't bear letting you go without touching you, so I pulled you into my arms, kissing you passionately. Your arms wrapped around my neck, your mouth responding eagerly to mine. I hated to let those soft lips go, but I knew I had to. We exchanged numbers and promised to call, and the night was over.

 I walked around in a daze the next day, counting the seconds until I could see you again. I called that afternoon, and we agreed to meet again at the club. For weeks we met that way, dancing and talking all night. Exactly one month after I had first seen you, I worked up the courage to ask you out on a formal date. You looked shocked when I asked you, as if it was a foreign concept to you that a man would want to take you out and spend time with just you. You haltingly agreed, staring at me like I had grown a third head when I told you the restaurant I had picked required men to wear a jacket and tie. I just smiled and assured you you'd like it, leaving you, again, with a kiss.

 Your eyes were a wide a saucers as we walked into the fancy restaurant. "This is way too expensive," you whispered to me, shaking your head. "You can't spend this much money on me!"

 I just smiled at you. "I can afford it, darling, and you're worth it," I assured you. A small, genuine smile crossed your face, but I could also see tears in your eyes. I know now it was because you thought you didn't deserve it; you thought you didn't deserve me. It was later that night that I really began to understand the way you felt.

 I asked you to come in to my apartment to share something special. I know you thought I meant sex, but I knew we weren't ready for that yet. I presented to you a large chocolate cake, which I made myself from scratch. You looked delighted, laughing and smiling as I fed forkfuls to you as we sat on the couch. It made my heart soar to see you looking so blissfully happy, every wonderful second that ticked by seeming full and complete. When I finished feeding you and set aside the cake, we curled up in each other's arms, content to simply kiss for hours.

 It was when I gave you the second present that things began to change. I pulled out the bracelet, a beautiful golden chain set with small, glimmering diamonds. It was expensive, but I had the money, and I wanted to spend every spare dollar on you. You stared at the gift as I fastened it around your wrist, stammering your thanks. Your eyes turned to me, and I could see tears in their crystal depths.

 "This is too much," you whispered. "I can't except this."

 I just smiled. "Baby, I want you to have it. I bought it just for you."

 You swallowed hard, looking from the bracelet back to me, then leaned in to kiss me again. This time the kiss was different, harder and more demanding. I was a little surprised when you pushed me back against the arm of the couch, straddling my lap and beginning to unbutton your shirt while you kissed me.

 "What are you doing?" I managed to gasp between kisses, so torn between wanting you and wanting to wait.

 "Touch me," you demanded, pulling open your shirt and grabbing my wrists, setting my hands on your tender chest. "You deserve it. You deserve my body." You began to kiss me frantically, running your lips across every inch of my neck. I wanted to give in, wanted to take you right there, but it just didn't feel right.

 "Baby - " I gasped, struggling to push you away. "Baby stop. We can't do this yet."

 "We have to. I won't make you wait any longer," you told me, still kissing me passionately. "You've been so wonderful to me, buying me drinks, dancing all night with me, and now this." He wiggled his wrist, making the diamonds there flash. "I owe you my body."

 I tensed upon hearing that, pushing you away from me. "No," I said firmly. "You don't owe me sex just because I bought you things."

 "I do," you insisted, a look of pain coming across your face. "You - you don't want me?"

 "Darling, I want you more than anything," I breathed, running my fingers gently over your cheek. "But not now, not like this. I want us to be more than just sex. We'll be intimate when the time is right, baby."

 You just stared at me while I buttoned your shirt back up, as if you were unable to believe what I'd just said. I pulled you into my arms and just held you for the longest time, whispering beautiful things in your ear. Everything I said was true and more, but I know you didn't really believe me. It was on that night that you began to believe at least a few of them, though, began to believe that I was sincere. You opened your heart to me that night, spilling out all your adventures past, all your sins, all the reasons I shouldn't want you. I think you were testing me, telling me every horrible thing you could think of to try and scare me away. You were so sure I'd leave, sure I would never want to see you again after you told me everything. But I didn't. I could never leave you, my angel. I simply held you as you confessed everything, and at the end of the night, I was still holding you.

 The next morning when we awoke, still in each other arms, you were different. You no longer wore your flashy, emotionless guise. You were just you, the person beneath all the tight clothing and teasing dances. The first thing I saw as I opened my eyes were your clear, beautiful eyes, revealed like I had never before seen them. You had let me into your soul, and there was no going back now. You gave me a small, shy smile, the kind I had never before seen on your beautiful lips.

 We dated for five more months, growing closer and closer with each passing day. You learned to trust you, leaving yourself completely open to me. I saw you transform from a nightclub slut to a beautiful, energetic man, filled with life and never lacking in dazzling smiles. Still, I knew you afraid. You had never opened yourself up to anyone the way you did with me, and your were terrified of getting you. You were afraid that you weren't good enough for me, and I would leave you for someone better. There were times I could see just from the look on your face that you were wondering why I was with you. I did my best to push that fear away, but still it remained.

 It was on our six month anniversary that I finally managed to conquer that fear. I took you our for the most wonderful evening of dinner, slowdancing, and theater that I could imagine, the glow every moment of it put on your face making it more than worth the cost. I took you back to my apartment, and that night, as we sat cuddled up together by the fire, I told you for the first time that I loved you. You're eyes went wide, and you opened your mouth to speak, but I pressed my fingers over your lips as I continued. I told you that you were the light of my life, my sun, my stars, my heaven. I told you that I had fallen in love with you the moment I set eyes on you, and from the first moment I knew you were my angel. I told you that I wanted to be with you until the end of time, and I never wanted to be apart from. I told you every feeling inside of me, said every word I had ever longed to.

 By the time I finished, tears of pure joy were slipping down your cheeks. Your throat was almost too choked up to speak, but you did manage to utter three words: "I love you."

 It was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life. I could see in your eyes that you meant every words of it and more. Unable to say anything further, you leaned forward, capturing my lips in the most passionate kiss we had ever shared. Through that kiss you told me that you felt the same about me that as I did you. We seemed to kiss forever, love flowing between us with every soft touch of our lips.

 As we kissed again and again, I felt a new feeling rising inside of me. It was a feeling of passion, of desire, yet of so much more. Pulling back for a moment, I gazed into your eyes, silently asking the question. You gazed back into my eyes, slowly nodding. My heart quickened in my chest, excitement growing inside of me. I picked you up in my arms, my eyes locked with yours as I carried you into the bedroom.

 For once in our relationship, it was me who was afraid. You had so much more experience than I did, having had so many more lovers than my small handful, I was afraid that I wouldn't be enough for you. I was afraid that I would pale in comparison to one of your previous lovers. But, as I gazed into your adoring face, I forced myself to push away these doubts.

 I lay you down on the mattress with the greatest tenderness, gazing into your eyes the entire time. Slowly, we began to kiss and caress, gradually discarding the clothes from our bodies. I moved slowly and lovingly, touching every inch of your body with gentle fingers. Our lovemaking was slow, yet passionate, our movement expressing our deep feeling for each other. It was more than the intimate, heavenly joining of our bodies; it was the joining of our souls, of our very beings. It was the most incredible, perfect moment of my life up to that point.

 After it was over, we lay in each other's arms, sated both physically and emotionally. We needed no words to express out love, simply the contact of each other's skin. I held you in my arms all night, not wanting to fall asleep and end that wonderful, perfect moment. Eventually we both dozed off, but the wonderful thing was, when I woke up I didn't feel any different. I was full inside; I was complete. I had found my other half, and you would be a part of me forever.

 I look down at you as you sleep, enjoying the simple pleasure of seeing your face relaxed in slumber. You're the most beautiful creature I've ever set eyes on, and I feel thankful every day that I found you. Despite everything in your past, despite all your fears, despite all the things that could drive us apart, we're together. All I have to do is hold you to take all our cares away. You're not perfect; neither am I. But, in each other's eyes, sometimes we are, and that feeling is one of the most incredible things in the world.


 I smile down at you, finding your lovely eyes open and peering at me. "Yes baby?" I whisper.

 You smile at me, resting your head on my chest. "I love you."

 My heart fills with love as I gaze at you. I sigh happily, my hand softly stroking your golden hair. "I love you too, Jay. I love you."

 I said the best moment of my life, up to that point, was the first time we made love. But that moment no longer holds that title. My love, whenever you're around me, I feel like I'm in heaven, walking on clouds of pure bliss. And the best moment of my life is every minute I spend with you.


Feed the Author

Return to E&C Fic

Back to Fanfic

Message Board