"Please!"
"No."
"Oh come, please, please, please do it! Please! I'll do whatever you want, I'll grovel, I'll beg on my knees, just please!"
Rico looked scornfully at his boss. "No offense, Eric, but not a chance in hell."
Eric fell to his knees before the stylist, who was lounging on a couch in his boss' office. "Please Rico!" he begged. "Please, please, please do this for me! I'll give you anything! I'll give you a title shot!"
Rico snorted. "Me, a title shot? Please! I don't want to be the one responsible for hurting the Has Been Kid."
"A tag title shot for Rosie and Jamal then!" Eric tried.
Rico rolled his eyes. "We'll get there anyway, Eric. You barely have any tag teams to compete for the belts as it is."
"Well then I'll - I'll - " Eric blushed. "I would be willing to - um - to preform - "
"I HOPE you're not gonna say what I think you are!" Rico scoffed. "If you are, I hope you know that I've been hit on by about half the roster, and have a horde of men who're younger and cuter than you waiting to get with me."
Eric groaned, slumping against the couch and holding his head in his hands, having exhausted his last option. "Rico, please!" he begged desperately. "I'll do ANYTHING, I mean it! Anything!"
"I stand by what I said," Rico replied calmly. "Not a chance in hell. Sorry Eric, looks like you'll just have to take one for the team."
"Noooo!!!" Eric howled miserably. "There must be something I can do!"
"Don't look at me for ideas," Rico told his boss curtly. "I'm not the idea who left my keys, credit cards, and ID in a place where any moron could walk in and take it. It's also no fault of mine that stomach-turning creature Test is in heat and lusting after you."
"I don't understand it!" Eric wailed. "Why does he want ME? Why? And who the hell gave him the idea of holding my personal property hostage until I - until I - " He shuddered, unable to say it.
"Don't ask me. Probably a movie or something." Rico shrugged. "Really I don't see why you're even talking to me, even if I agreed to take your place, which I never will, it's you he wants. So just go do it, close your eyes, and pretend it's someone hot, like me. The idea of having sex with me and my gorgeous body should get you off really fast."
"But it WON'T be you!" Eric moaned. "It'll be...." he shuddered, "....HIM!"
"I know, he's repulsive." Rico patted his boss on the back. "Look on the bright side; at least it's not, say, Rikishi, right?"
Eric cast the stylist a dark look. "I would gladly have sex with Rikishi every day for a year if it meant getting out of this!" he snapped.
"Want me to call Kish up and see if there's anything he can do?" Rico offered.
"No!" Eric groaned, taking a deep, deep breath. He was quiet for a moment, then he snapped his fingers, grinning broadly. "I got it! I've totally got it!"
"Oh yeah? So what's the plan?" Rico questioned.
"I'll tell him I want it kinky!" Eric exclaimed.
"An excuse to whip him?" Rico interrupted. "Sounds fun."
"No!" Eric glared at the brunette. "Can I continue please?"
Rico raised his hands in surrender. "Sure, sure, don't let me stop you."
"Ok. So, I tell him I want it kinky, tie him up, and blindfold him. Then, since I can't find anyone who's willing to do it in my place, I'll just go buy a big dildo and some rubber gloves and use that!"
"Brilliant," Rico commented. "There's just one problem."
Eric's face fell. "What's that?"
"How are you gonna buy a dildo with no car keys, money, or credit cards?" Rico pointed out.
Eric groaned, banging his head against the back of the couch. "But - but there must be SOME way I could - " He paused, looking hopefully up at Rico.
Rico crossed his arms over his chest. "Oh no," he stated, shaking his head.
"Rico, please?" Eric begged. "I'll pay you back twice what you spend, please!"
"You expect a guy who looks like me to walk into a sex shop, all alone, and buy a dildo?" Rico demanded.
"It won't be that bad!" Eric insisted.
"What will I tell them? That a man a lovely as I can't find a man to sleep with him?" Rico huffed.
"You could tell them that - that your lover is so hot for you and your sexy little body," Eric licked his lips as he glanced over Rico's form, "That you couldn't possibly have sex enough to satisfy him, and so he needs the dildo to supplement your love making."
Rico crossed his arms over his perfect chest. "I'm usually a bottom, Eric," he stated.
"Well pretend!" Eric pleaded. "Beside, it still works, pretty much. Please Rico, please!"
Rico thought for a moment, still frowning. "I don't know if I feel safe walking through that kind of neighborhood at night!" he stated.
"Take Rosie and Jamal," Eric replied quickly. "Hell, tell the people at the store that those two are your lovers! You should all get a kick out of that, right?"
Rico hesitated for a moment, then sighed in resignation. "Fine, fine, I'll do it, I guess."
"Oh, thank you!!!!" Eric cried joyfully, jumping to his feet and pulling Rico into his arms, twirling around merrily with the stylist. He finally set Rico down, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "You really are the best Rico, the very best!"
"That is what all the men in my life tell me," Rico smirked. "I guess I should get going. See you in a bit." He ran a hand through his hair to make sure it was still perfect, then headed for the door and out into the hall.
Eric collapsed on the couch, heaving a huge sigh of relief. "Thank god," he murmured. "That was a really, really close one. Thank god I've got Rico!"
THE END