"Where is that insensitive jerk?" Lita screamed, slamming her fist into the wall.

 Matt Hardy nervously edged away, dashing out the door to find his prospective girlfriend as soon as he was near enough. Lita turned her narrowed eyes on the door, clenching her fists in rage. "If he stands me up one more time, I'm going to make him damn sorry!" she yelled at the air. "I'm going to give him to the count of five to show up. Five! Four! Three! Two!"

 "Hey , babe, whatcha countin fur?" interrupted a slurred Texan voice.

 "Finally!" Lita screamed. "Where the fuck have you been, you moron?!?"

 "I was talkin to m'buds," the redhead's boyfriend replied, giving her a funny look. "What's your problem, babe?"

 "My problem?!? My problem is that you're half an hour late!" Lita yelled.

 "Aw, I'm sorry babe. I just wasn't watching the time. Can't you forgive me?" The man raised his eyebrows, his lips forming into a pout. "I'll make it up to you, babe. Like I always do." Grinning, he pulled her into his arms and gave her a long, deep kiss. Lita melted into his strong arms. She was smiling when she pulled back.

 "Ok, I guess I can forgive you," she gave in, looping her arms around his neck. "But only if we go straight back to the hotel and to bed, and you do everything I want. Ok Billy? Billy?"

 Billy Gunn made a face. "But I'm hungry. And last time I agreed to do whatever you wanted, I ended up - " He cleared his throat, shuddering slightly. "I don't wanna think about how that night ended. Why don't we go out for a quick dinner, then we can go back to the hotel and have sex, ok?"

 Lita shook her head. "No. You were late, so you do what I want. And I say we go back to the hotel now!"

 "But - "

 "Billy!" Lita snapped, glaring at him angrily. "I SAID, we're going back to the hotel now! And you will do what I want, got it?"

 Billy opened his mouth to object again, then sighed. "Ok, fine you win." He turned to the door, expecting Lita to follow.

 "A-hem!" Billy turned around, seeing Lita standing with her arms crossed stubbornly.

 "What now?" he groaned.

 Lita stuck her chin up in the air. "Carry me," she demanded.

 "Why can't you walk?" Billy snapped.

 Lita's eyes narrowed. "I said CARRY ME! Do I have to remind you again that you made me wait for 30 DAMN MINUTES for you?!? Now carry me!"

 Billy scowled, but walked back to his girlfriend and picked her up anyway. He considered for a moment, then threw her over his shoulder and began walking off down the hall.

 "Billy!" Lita screamed, thrashing around on his shoulder. "You will not carry me like a damn sack of potatoes! Carry me in your arms, right now! NOOOOOWWWWWWW!"

 "What? I can't hear you from way back there, sweetheart," Billy told the shrieking redhead.

 "Billy!" Lita spotted Jeff lounging against a wall they passed by, looking awfully cuddly with Kurt Angle. "Jeff, tell this oaf to put me down!" Lita yelled at the younger Hardy Boy. Jeff just rolled his eyes and went back to chatting with the Olympic champion.

 Lita scowled and continued struggling. She spotted Matt just a moment later. He was flirting shamelessly with his would-be girlfriend, Jackie. Lita rolled her eyes. Everyone except him knew that he didn't have a chance. "Hey Matt!" she yelled, "Make him put me down! He's not supposed to carry me this way!"

 Matt glanced up at her, mouthing something that looked like 'You're ruining it' and making frantic gestures in the direction of Jackie.

 "Oh come on Matt, you don't have a chance with that picky bitch anyway!" Lita exclaimed. "Now help me!"

 Jackie narrowed her eyes, putting her hands on her hips and whirling around. Matt's face fell as she marched away. "Oh, thanks a lot Lita!" he spat, a pout coming across his face. "I was just about to ask her out, and I know she was going to say yes this time! You can deal with your stupid boyfriend yourself!" He marched off, scowling angrily.

 "But you have to save me!" Lita screamed, struggling harder. "Billy you jerk, put me down!"

 Billy paused. "Can we got out to dinner?"

 "No!" Lita shrieked.

 "Then I'm not putting you down."

 Lita gritted her teeth, scowling. "Ok, FINE. We can go out to dinner!"

 Billy thought for a moment. "Can we have foreplay tonight?"

 "What?!? Why?" Lita whined. "I gave in on dinner, isn't that enough?"

 Billy crossed his arms. "Nope. I want foreplay, AND cuddling afterwards!"

 "CUDDLING?!? ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!? I don't cuddle!" Lita yelled in disbelief.

 Billy frowned. "Jesse cuddled me. He cuddled me every time. And he took me out to dinner, and we always had great foreplay! I miss Jesse!" He dropped Lita on the floor, then ran off down the hall crying. "Jesse! I miss you!" he yelled as he ran away.

 "Billy, you stupid big baby, get back here right now!" Lita screamed. She climbed to her feet and ran after her sobbing boyfriend.

 Jeff watched as first a sobbing Billy Gunn ran past, then a furious, screaming Lita. He looked at Kurt, who was suppressing laughter. "They can never get along," Jeff chuckled.

 "They certainly can't seem to." Kurt turned his eyes back to Jeff, smiling flirtatiously. "Are we still on for dinner? We can have milk and all! My treat, as a gentleman."

 "That sounds great, Kurt." Jeff smiled, clearing his throat awkwardly. His heart began to beat faster as Kurt leaned in closer. He licked his lips and closed his eyes, waiting to feel Kurt's lips on his own. He was surprised when Kurt gave him a peck on the cheek, then drew back. He opened his eyes again, his awkward grin returning. "I guess I'll meet you at the restaurant?"

 Kurt returned his smile. "I'll see you there." He squeezed Jeff's hand and gave him another smile, then walked down the hallway towards the parking garage.

 Jeff heard someone clear their throat behind him. He turned around to see his brother standing there, arms crossed. "So you're going out with him again?" Matt demanded.

 "Yes, I am," Jeff replied, crossing his arms stubbornly. "And you can't stop me, Matt, so don't even try!"

 Matt sighed. "Jeff, I just don't think you really understand what being in a relationship with a guy means!"

 "Yes I do," Jeff argued, sticking out his chin.

 Matt raised his eyebrows. "What about the physical part of it, Jeff? Do you really think you can handle that? Or want it at all?"

 Jeff looked confused. "What do you mean by 'the physical part'?"

 "Well - " Matt paused, then sighed. "I mean like sex, Jeff."

 Jeff looked horrified. "Sex?!? Geez, I haven't even kissed him yet! I'm not gonna sleep with him! Beside, this is Kurt Angle we're talking about. He'd probably want to marry me first or something."

 "So you're not going to sleep with him?" Matt prodded, looking pleased.

 "Well, not anytime soon," Jeff replied. "I'm way too young to get into that! I'm only 23 you know!"

 "Yes, absolutely," Matt replied, patting Jeff on the back. "You know, according to surveys, most gay men don't lose their virginity until - oh - at least 28. So you have a while to learn the ropes before you sleep with anyone."

 "Really?" Jeff grinned. "That's great! I'm sure Kurt will be thrilled. He can keep practicing abstinence for a lot longer."

 Matt smiled. "Yep, that's right! Be sure to tell him that, too, ok?"

 Jeff nodded and smiled at his brother. "I will! Thanks Matt!" Still grinning, he skipped off down the hall.

 Matt chuckled to himself. Turning around, he bumped right into the object of his desire, Jackie. "Oomph!" she exclaimed as she fell to the floor. She glared up at him. "Watch it, Matt!"

 "Oh, I'm so sorry!" He offered her his hand and pulled her to her feet. "I didn't know you were there. I am so, so sorry."

 Jackie sighed. "It's ok, Matt. I'm fine."

 "Jackie, there was something I wanted to - um - ask you before," Matt began awkwardly.

 Jackie put a hand on his arm, giving him an understanding look. "If you're going to ask me out, Matt, which I think you are, I'm sorry, but I'm already taken."

 Matt's mouth fell open. "You are? Since when?"

 "Oh, about five minutes ago." Jackie glanced at her watch. "Someone asked me out about the time you were giving Jeff all that advice that is guaranteed to get him dumped by pretty much every guy he will ever date."

 "That's the idea," Matt replied, giving Jackie a 'duh' look. "Who asked you out?"

 "Test." Jackie smiled to herself. "I've liked him for so long, I was so happy he finally asked me! He's really shy, you know."

 "Well - well so am I!" Matt objected. "I can be shy too, Jackie! Why not me!"

 Jackie shook her head. "Sorry Matt, but I'm taken. Ask me again if we break up - which I don't think we will. I hope we can still be friends, though."

 "But - but - " Matt stuttered.

 "Ready to go, Jackie?" Test came up from behind, carrying both his bag and Jackie's.

 "Yep, I'm all ready." Jackie smiled at the tall Canadian, following him down the hall. Matt watched them go, a sulky pout on his face.

 "Hey Matt, what's got you down?"

 Matt turned, finding Adam Copeland watching him with concern. "Women suck," he muttered. "Jackie was just about to say yes to me, when Test stole her! That bastard. It's - it's just not fair!" he cried, tears coming to his eyes.

 "Aw, it's ok Matt." Adam put his arm around Matt's shoulders, pulling the upset Hardy against his chest and guiding him towards to parking lot. "You can come watch movies with me and Jay, ok? We can eat ice cream and talk about our feelings."

 "I don't want to," Matt pouted. He glanced up at Adam. "What flavor ice cream?" Adam just smiled and pulled Matt towards his car.

 The End

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