Ivory  "You're so pretty."

 Jackie "I'm busy."

 I  "Well?"

 J  "Well what?"

 I  "I just said you were pretty! Aren't you at least going to say ‘Thank you'?"

 J  "No. And get your hand off of there."

 I  "Which one?"

 J  "The one on the desk; which do you think??? The one touching my breast!"

 I  "But what if I want to touch your breast?"

 J  "Tough."

 I  "Come on! You've been at this all night!"

 J  "And I'm not finished yet. I've got to brush up on my moves if I'm gonna fight that redneck bastard."

 I  "Oh you're not seriously going to go through with that, are you?"

 J  "Of course I am! Why should I back down when it was him who insulted me?"

 I  "Um, how about because he's twice your size!!! He'll tear you apart!"

 J  "He won't have time to! I'll kick his ass!"

 I  "Huh. Well I doubt that, but I hope you're not relying on his ‘manners' to stop him from hitting a lady! He hasn't got any!"

 J  "I know that; I challenged him because he insulted me, remember?"

 I  "Well this is all stupid if you ask me. I would've just kicked him in the balls and run."

 J  "Your solution; not mine."

 I  "Well maybe it should be."

 J  "Well maybe you should be quiet so a girl can study her fighting moves!"

 I  "You're not doing this."

 J  "I am."

 I  "You're not; I need you in one piece!"

 J  "Still am."

 I  "Ok, how ‘bout this; you kick him in the balls, then I jump him from behind and we beat the shit out of him. That would show him!"

 J  "No, that wouldn't....well, hell, actually that sounds pretty good! After all, the sista who fights dirty kicks her opponent's ass!"

 I  "Right! Now that we've got that settled, come to bed."

 J  "I am awful tired..."

 I  "Not what I meant, and you know it!"

 J  "Oh, I know it..."

 *sound of footsteps, then mattress springs sinking*

 I  "This is so much better...mmm..."

 J  "Mmmhmm...damn, help me get this knot out!"

 I  "It's really stuck...why did you tie it like that??"

 J  "So my breasts wouldn't fall out of my shirt?"

 I  "No need to be rude...got it! Now let's....ow!"

 J  "What?"

 I  "I don't know, there's something under these covers..."

 J  "What the hell, it's a mic!"

 I  "Those two blonde surfer boys did warn me they'd found a few bugs..."

 J  "Chuck it outside...if it's still there tomorrow, we'll stick it in Bradshaw's bag after we whoop his ass."

 I  "Just a sec, I'll do that. Don't you move!"

 *a loud clunk, then static...*
 
 

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